I suck in a deep breath as I catch a glimpse of him through the window of the restaurant. I can do this. I just have to avoid his eyes directly and I can't look at his face; at his gorgeous, beautiful face. I glance down at my phone. I don't want to be staring at him as he approaches the table. I have to temper my emotions. I need to stop thinking about what we did in his bed.
"Sadie," he whispers as he sits across from me. "I'm so glad you texted me."
I dart my eyes up and my breath hitches. He's so handsome. He hasn't shaved in a couple of days. The grey suit he's wearing fits him perfectly. It's no wonder several women's heads turned when he sat down.
"I brought this." He places the small white bag from the jewelry shop on the table between us. "Your credit card is inside with the earrings."
I nod. It was thoughtful but it's a small gesture. What about the fact that he forgot to mention that I was his dead girlfriend's heart recipient? "Thank you," I say as I rummage through my body for any slight spark of strength that might be there. Why did I think I could do this? How am I supposed to get through this conversation?
"You must have a lot of questions." His voice is deep, rich and tender. "Are you sure you want to talk about this here? We can go back to my place."
My body trembles at the mention of his place. That's where I gave myself to him. That's where I let go and felt safe. I can't go back there to discuss this. "Here is fine." I don't offer anything more. I don't want to be alone with him. I can't right now.
"It's a nice restaurant. I've never been." He scans the room before his eyes settle back on my face. "Are you hungry?"
The casualness of the question irks me. How can I be hungry when I feel so utterly disconnected from my own body? How am I supposed to deal with the fact that I slept with the boyfriend of my heart donor? How do you want a sandwich when you have to process all of that? "Sure," I lie.
"Where do you want me to start?" he asks quietly.
"When did you know I was her recipient?" I can't bring myself to say Coral's name.
"Seven years ago." He exhales audibly. "When you sent the letter to her family. I..." he stops speaking when a waitress appears next to him.
"What can I get you?" She doesn't acknowledge my presence. Her gaze is locked on Hunter. I can't blame her. I sit in silence staring at the seductive way she leans in closer to him to tell him the daily lunch specials. Her breasts are practically tickling his nose.
"Sadie, what would you like?" He shifts back in his chair.
"A salad," I say without thought.
"I'll have the same." He doesn't move his eyes from my face. "Bring two sparkling waters too."
"What kind of salad?" She's leaning into him again. "There's garden, crab, a strawberry chicken, cobb..."
"The first one," I interrupt.
She shoots me an angered look before she pulls her chest across Hunter's shoulder when she reaches for our unopened menus. "I'll be right back," she literally whispers into his ear.
I watch her walk away, a slight wiggle in her hips. So many women must come on to him. Why did I think he actually wanted me? Why was I such an idiot?
"Where was I?" He sounds anxious.
"You were telling me that you knew about the letter I sent." I bite back the urge to raise my voice. "He let me go on about the letter in our post love making embrace. He already knew about it.
"You signed the letter with your full name," he says hoarsely.
"I remember."
He shifts slightly as the waitress places two glasses of sparkling water on the table. "I've known your name since then."
"Why did you come looking for me now?" I spit out. I can't believe he's known about me for so long. I'm painstakingly aware that the waitress is hovering near our table, listening to our conversation.
"I didn't." He rests his forearms on the table before clasping his hands together. "I always wondered about you but I didn't seek you out."
The words sting but I pull in a heavy breath to hold my composure. "So you just ended up at my mother's fundraiser?" The question is edged with sarcasm but I don't care. He's been withholding information since that night.
"No. An associate was invited and he couldn't go. His wife was going and when they mentioned the last name I realized it was your family." He shoves his hands through his hair. "I was awestruck when I saw you. You weren't what I was expecting."
The comment catches me off guard. I won't let him charm me into abandoning my need to know how I ended up in his life and in his bed. "There's no way in hell that you ended up at my house out of pure coincidence. To suggest that's the case is really insulting, Hunter."