"You need to go." My voice is so faint. "I have plans."
"Are you fucking someone else already?" There's no mistaking the frustration in his tone.
I start to move towards the door. I need him gone before Drew comes up to get me. "It's none of your business." I want him to believe the words. My life isn't his concern anymore. It never really was in the first place.
He catches my wrist in his grasp. "Like hell it's not my business."
I can't do this. I can't deal with him right now.
"I need to be inside you, Jessica." His eyes sweep over me. "I'm aching for you. Tell me how I can fix this."
"You miss having sex with me?" I ask, not because I need to know the answer, but I need to hear it, from him. I need the confirmation that all he misses is fucking me.
"More than I've missed anything in my life." He steps closer and touches my shoulder. "I think about the way my cock stretches you as I'm fucking you. I think about your beautiful mouth and what it feels like to shoot down your throat."
I don't move. I can't. Why aren't my feet listening to my brain?
"Do you know what I think about most of all, Jessica?" His fingers jump to my thigh. "I think about when I'm sucking on your sweet little, swollen clit and you come hard all over my face."
"No." I swat his hand away. Please, no.
"No?"
"Don't." I swallow past a hard lump in my throat so I can find my voice again. "Don't say that."
"It's all true." He leans in and his breath skirts over my neck. "I need you, Jessica. Tell me what to do. I'll do anything."
"Leave." I step back and look down at the floor. "Just go."
"I'm not going anywhere." His tone is measured and calm. "I've given you almost two weeks to come and talk to me and you haven't. You think I'm going to sit and wait forever?"
He was waiting for me? "You shouldn't have waited." I want to sound genuine. I want to sound as though I don't give a fuck if I ever talk to him again.
"What else am I supposed to do?" He reaches to touch me again and I take another step back. I'm running out of room to avoid him.
"You have a phone full of women lining up to sleep with you." The words startle me as they leave my own lips. I've tried so hard not to think about that phone and all those numbers. "Call up one of them if you need to get off."
He sighs heavily before pulling his hand across his mouth. "I threw that phone away. I don't have it anymore."
My heart leaps at the announcement but any joy is quickly replaced by the realization that my number never made it into his actual phone. He filed me in with all the other hundreds of women he fucked. "Why was my number in there?"
"
It's complicated." He runs his hand through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead. "Your number is in here too." He pulls a smartphone from the pocket of his jeans. "You can check." He holds out the phone for me.
I don’t reach for it. I can't. I can't start investing myself in this again. "It doesn't matter." I shake my head slightly trying to ward off any thought that this could actually work. "You should leave."
"Jessica." He leans forwards until his lips are hovering close to mine. "Let me make this right."
"You can't. I take in a deep breath. I have to calm down. "I can't do this anymore."
"Why not?" He reaches out and scoops my hand in his.
I feel weak from the contact. I can't want him still. Why does my body still react like this? "I saw that phone. I saw all those names." I'm instantly assaulted by the wave of pain I felt when I was scrolling through his contact list. "I was just one of the Jessicas." I hold up my index finger. "Just one. Jessica R. That's who I was to you."
"That's not who you are." His hand squeezes mine. "Christ, please."
"I'm nothing." The words sound pathetic and pitiful. I don't want them to. I don't want to be that girl who cries because the guy didn't give her all the attention. We were just fuck buddies. That's how it started. That's all it ever was to him.