"You say things like that, but…" my voice stops. But what?
"I can't fuck anyone else." The words are abrasive and bold. "That isn't going to happen, Jessica."
"You don't mean it." I push back against him. I need to leave before he convinces me there's more to him than a man after a piece of ass.
"I mean every word."
Chapter 11
"So you're saying Fingers is a one woman man now?" Rebecca stares at me across the table in the crowded diner she chose to meet at for lunch.
"So he says," I try not to sound discouraged. When I left his office an hour ago I didn't stop to turn back around to look at him.
She takes a bite of the sandwich she ordered. "This is delicious. Not as good as what you make, but second best."
I smile at the awkward compliment. "There's just so much about him I don't understand." Understatement alert. That didn’t even begin to cover how confused I was about him. I had so many questions but the minute I started asking them, I'd be reinvested in the relationship and with his track record and the line of women he's been through, the effort just isn't worth it.
"So he went down on you at the club?" The words are muffled as she chews through another bite of the sandwich.
"What?" I almost drop the spoon of soup I'm holding near my mouth. "How did you know?"
"I saw him pulling you into one of the private rooms," she says it so nonchalantly as if it's an everyday occurrence in her world.
I shake my head to chase away the thought of Nathan on his knees, his face buried between my thighs. "Private room
s?"
"Did Fingers pop your private room cherry?" The fact that several people turn to look solidifies my first thought that she's talking way too loud.
"You practically screamed that." I point out. "I've never been in a private room before." I've never heard of a private room before. I feel like I lived in a cave before I landed in Manhattan.
"All club members have access."
The words hit me with the full force of a baseball bat. "Members?"
"You get special perks if you're a member of certain clubs." She stares down at the rest of her sandwich. I can tell she's having an internal dialogue about whether or not she should devour it.
"He had to be a club member to get in that room?" The gravity of that statement is sinking in slowly, coursing over my brain and seeping into my heart.
"You need a key card." She picks up her oversize purse and starts rifling through it. "See." Her face lights up as she pulls three separate cards from her wallet. "I'm a member of all three of these."
"Nathan had to be a member to get into that room last night?" Why am I asking her that? I know the answer.
"Absolutely." She picks up the sandwich. "That club just opened. I'm not even a member of it yet."
***
"Why are you such an asshole?" I ask it without any emotion. At least I don't think there's any emotion in it.
"Is this a trick question?" He swings the door of his apartment open wider so I can walk past him.
I survey the room. The last time I was in here, I felt safe, adored and special. Now I just feel like Jessica R again. "It's not a trick. You're an asshole."
He rubs his temple with his index finger. "Jessica. Do you want a drink?"
The question feels completely misplaced. "I have a hangover."
"Right." He taps the tip of my nose before he pours himself a glass of bourbon. "So you think I'm an asshole?"