"I called him again about a week after that." He licks his upper lip. "I felt guilty about the money so I told him I wanted to work out a repayment plan."
"That makes sense." It does. Parker is proud. He's always been too proud to go to his wealthy family and ask them for any help at all. The fact that he took money from a stranger to buy a ring is shocking. The fact that he wanted to pay it back isn't surprising in the least.
"That's when I corrected him and told him the woman I loved was named Kayla."
I stare at him, my lips slightly ajar. I want to say something that will halt this in its tracks now. I don't want to know any details beyond this because it's when everything shifts to something more sinister. It's the point where Ben transforms from the helpful, kind and caring stranger to the man who used Parker and me to try and get his brother back.
"Did he tell you that he knew me then?" I ask quietly.
His jaw tenses slightly. "He said he was actually coming out of your apartment that night we met. He said you knew his brother, Noah. I asked if it was Alexa's Noah and he said it was. I realized then that's how you met him. It was through them."
"What else did he say?" Judging by Parker's lack of response to Ben's kiss on my forehead earlier he hasn't connected the dots enough to know that Ben and I are lovers. I'm not going to change that by correcting him about the details of how I met Ben.
"He said you were a good person." A small smile pulls at the corner of his mouth. "I said I already knew that."
"What else?" I push through the pleasantries. I need to.
His eyes move over my face. "He said that you were helping him accept some stuff that happened between him and his brother a long time ago. I didn't ask for the details."
I'm grateful for that. What happened between Noah and Ben when they were teenagers isn't Parker's business. Pulling him into that circle of information isn't something I'd ever do. Ben and Noah's pain is theirs alone to share with who they choose. "Ben said that you had a deal?"
"We did." He nods only slightly as if he doesn’t want to fully acknowledge it. "Ben told me to keep the money for the ring. He said he just needed more time with you to help him deal with what happened between him and Noah. He said you were the best friend he's ever had."
Those words should buoy my heart. I know, judging by the routine of Ben's life that he doesn't have close friends he confides in. Work is his focus. It's how he shoulders the burdens of his past. "You agreed to give him that time with me?"
"I did." He pinches the bridge of his nose. "I thought you could help him while I worked on finding a new place for us to live."
My eyes take in the room. This apartment had been my safe place for a few months before I'd been thrown back into the sea of uncertainty that Parker had tossed me into when he left me. I imagined we'd build our lives together in this place and now all I see when I look around is emptiness and what could have been.
"Today you told Ben you wanted to talk to me," I say the words evenly. I'm not bringing it up because I want to know what Parker was going to say if Ben would have given him the green light. I'm sure it would have included a marriage proposal and the promise of a future that would have lasted only a few months until someone else caught Parker's eager and willing eye.
"A few days ago I called him and told him I w
anted to talk to you." His expression is as vacant as I feel right now. "I just wanted to know if you still wanted me."
I don't delve into that pool because I'd have to tell Parker the truth, which is that I stopped wanting him weeks ago. "He wouldn't let you talk to me?"
"He told me he was coming to town this weekend and we'd talk then." He shrugs.
It stings even though it shouldn't. The mere fact that Parker gave up on talking to me so easily only bolsters my belief that we were never really meant to be. "That's what was going on when I overheard you."
His lips thin into grimace. "I shouldn't have agreed to what he wanted, Kayla. I should have come right back to New York to ask you to marry me but I've been so nervous about how you'd react that I kept putting it off. He kept telling me to take time to think things through. He said he didn't think I was over Elsie yet. I was really confused. Now everything is all fucked up."
"Everything works out the way it's supposed to, Parker," I offer as I pull myself to my feet. "It wouldn't have worked between us anyway."
"Why not?" He doesn't move from where he's seated.
"I don't love you anymore." I look directly at his face as the words leave my lips. "It's over for me. It ended the night you left me for her."
He doesn't respond. I see nothing within his expression so I turn on my heels, walk across the apartment and out of Parker's life for good.
Chapter 5
"What time are you done for the day?" His deep voice jars me out of the number coma I've been stuck in for much of the afternoon. I wish I could say that I was doing something fascinating like working out the details of a big merger, or planning out the investment strategy of a client, but I'm balancing Vivian's checkbook for her. Yes, this is the life of a single, accomplished woman in Manhattan.
"Noah." I grip the side of my desk to calm my shaking hands. I'd been avoiding his texts since they started to roll in on Saturday evening shortly after I left Parker's apartment. I sent him back one, brief response, early Sunday morning after I'd been woken up by a loud argument in the room next to me in a hotel I stayed at. I'd debated calling my mother to see if I could crash in my old room but the price for that would have been too steep. Answering questions about Parker and me, and my time in New York was too much for me to handle at the time. It's too much to bear now.
"We need to talk." There's urgency in his words.