"When I saw you two together, it finally hit me." He pushes his hand into his chest. "I saw how real the pain was for you. I saw how hurt you were by both of us. I knew I had to leave you there to find your way out of it."
I should feel abandoned by that. I should feel as though Ben ran away to leave me in a cage of uncertainty with Parker, but that's not what I feel at all. "You left me there to make my own choice."
"I did." He closes his eyes briefly. "It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I knew I had to stop manipulating it all. I knew that if I lost you, that it was because it was what you needed to be happy."
Chapter 12
"I have to go." He pulls his boxer briefs on before he stumbles against the bed in his haste to get his pants back on. "Shit, Kayla. I'm sorry."
I nod. I'd watched all the color drain from his face when he answered his cell not more than two minutes ago. He'd barely responded after listening to whatever the person calling said to him. "Is it work?"
"No." He reaches over the bed to pull his shirt from where it landed when he'd stripped his clothes off after tenderly undressing me. "It's just…"
"Ben?" I'm on my knees on the bed now, the sheet lazily wrapped around my nude body. "What is it? Is it Noah or Ron?"
His eyes scan my face. "Get dressed. I need you."
I don't hesitate at all as I jump to my feet to pull my jeans and sweater back on. I push my feet into my flats quickly and before I have time to run my hand through my hair, I'm chasing him through the bedroom door.
"I need my bag." He pushes his cell phone into my palm. "Hold this for me."
I reach for the phone, tossing it into my purse as I watch him fling open the door to a closet. He rummages through it quickly, pulling out a black overnight bag. "We need to find a cab now."
He's out the apartment door before I have time to ask any questions. My eyes settle on his keys. They're still sitting atop the desk where he threw them when we first arrived hours earlier. I snatch them into my fist as I race out the door, locking it behind me before I dart into the waiting elevator.
He holds out his hand. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" I push mys
elf up to my tiptoes to graze my lips across his cheek.
"I need you so much." His hand rests on my back, nudging me closer as he settles his lips against my hair. "I really need you."
He scoops my hand into his as the elevator chimes its arrival in the lobby. I can barely keep up to his wide strides. We breeze past the doorman who takes one look at Ben before he's on the curb, whistling for a cab. He knows. The doorman has seen him like this before.
I don't say a word as Ben pushes me into the backseat of the taxi with a knowing nod to the doorman who leans in the passenger side window to give the driver an address I don’t recognize. I hold tightly to Ben's hand as his legs shake and he slaps his other hand against the seat next to him.
"If you avoided the park altogether, we'd get there faster."
The driver doesn’t acknowledge the words but judging by the quick and unexpected right turn the car takes, he gets the message loud and clear. The taxi races through the crowded streets as we sit in utter silence.
"Pay him, Kayla. Please, pay him." Ben pulls his wallet from the pocket of his pants as he opens the car door when we finally come to a screeching halt. "Meet me inside."
I pull a few bills from the wallet as I watch Ben sprint through the doors of a dark building on a tree lined street. I hand the money to the driver telling him to keep the change. I reach behind me to grab my purse. My heart is racing. Ben's disappeared inside the entrance to the building and I have no idea what awaits me when I follow him in. The only thing I do know is that I have no choice.
***
The moment I pull open the curtained glass front door I know what I'm stepping into it. Children's voices pierce through all the other noise in the building. Two youngsters race past me at break neck speed. A woman nods in my direction from where she's perched on a wooden rocking chair, an infant nestled tightly in a blanket in her arms. The faint purple hue of a lingering bruise covers the entire left side of her face.
"I'm looking for Dr. Foster," I say to her because beyond this point I have no idea which direction I need to take to find Ben.
"Dr. Ben?" A little boy with brown hair and blue eyes pops up in front of me. "I can take you to Dr. Ben."
I accept the tender, unspoken, invitation to grab his tiny hand in mine. He pulls his feet along the tile floor to a room in the corner. "Dr. Ben is in there."
The faint sound of crying greets me as I push the wooden door open. I see him. Ben's next to a stretcher where a teenage boy is resting. He's talking to a woman in Spanish. Even though I can't comprehend the words, I can hear the comfort in them. He's consoling her. She's nodding fiercely as she stares down at the child.
"Kayla." He turns when he hears the creek of the old door as I shut it. "Come."