I know the instant he's about to come before his lips betray his need. "Goddammit," he spits it into the air just as the first stream shoots into my mouth. I moan from the taste and from the sounds falling off his beautiful lips. I look up, completely captivated by the sight of him in total ecstasy.
I pull back slightly allowing his desire to flow onto my lips. I lick it all, kissing the tip of his now semi-erect cock as he leans back into the bed.
The silence is thick, the only sound between the two of us the deep groans I'm making, as I taste everything this man has given to me.
***
"I have to catch my breath before I fuck you."
I smile at his desire to please me. I wanted to come so badly when I was on my knees on the floor but now, moments later, as I'm nude and wrapped in his arms, nothing matters but this closeness. I don’t need the orgasm. I'm not chasing the climax, I just want to stay in this space with him and never let go.
"Did you fall asleep?" His lips graze my hair as I rest my cheek against his smooth cheek. "You fell asleep, didn’t you?"
I race my finger around his nipple. "I'm wide awake. I was just thinking."
"About what?"
Noah. Alexa. Samantha. Life.
"Nothing in particular." I opt for the least complicated of all answers. The internal debate that has been pulling at every corner of me since I left Noah's place hasn't quieted itself down at all. I want to tell Ben that I shared intimate details of our conversation with Noah. I need to tell him that. I know I silently promised Noah I wouldn't but he's not the man I'm resting against now. He's not the man I think about virtually the entire day. Ben is and he deserves to know my secrets, just as he's shared his with me.
"Is it about him?" His voice is low and prodding. The question doesn't contain any ambiguity at all. He's asking about Noah.
"Him?" I throw it back at him so I can give myself a moment to think about where to start. Do I explain that Noah brought him up first and in my haste to defend him, I said things about the day their mother died that I shouldn't have? Or is it best to let him lead the conversation so I can gauge how much he's ready to hear? My initial inclination to confess all when I got here was halted when he answered the door completely nude.
"The guy," he begins before swallowing hard. "Your boyfriend."
My boyfriend? Parker? I'm in Ben's arms, after taking him down my throat and giving him a mind numbing orgasm and he's asking me about Parker? "Are you talking about the man who left me?"
"Yeah." His hand strokes my hair. "That guy."
It's real. He's actually bringing up the man who broke my heart while I'm naked next to him. "Why would we talk about him again?"
He pulls on my arms, coaxing me to look at him. I acquiesce, resting my elbows on his chest. "You seem distant tonight. I guess I just thought it was about him."
"Why would you think that?" I try not to sound as defensive as I feel. The last person I want to discuss with Ben is Parker. "I don't think about him."
"You have to think of him." He pushes a stray hair off my forehead. "We all think about the people we loved every now and again."
"Do you think about the women you love when you're in bed with me?" It may be petulant and biting, but it's a valid question. "Do you do that?"
His hand flies up to ward me off and the gesture only irks me more. "I was just asking why you were quiet."
"I had your cock in my mouth. It's hard to talk when that's going on." I nod my head down the bed.
The corner of his lips dart up. "You did and it was crazy good."
"Don’t ask me about him anymore, Ben." I want to stop the Parker talk in its tracks. I haven't thought about him in days. The last time was when Alexa brought him up at her bridal shower. "I don't think about him."
"You're over him?"
"Completely," I say with conviction. "He's my past. I'm looking to the future."
"Me too, Kayla." He wraps his arms around me. "Me too."
Chapter 12
"I'm going to apply for the Master's program soon." I hold a piece of paper in front of me. "I need two references. I know it's not something we've ever talked about but…"