"Alexa is smarter than that," I say w
ith every effort to sound convincing. "She won't break off our friendship over this."
"We should see where this goes before you tell her."
I know the words shouldn't burst open my heart the way they do. This is new and it's natural to have doubts. He's older than I am. He's wiser. Maybe when a person turns thirty they realize that banking on an undeniable connection is foolish and impulsive. I'm not thirty-years-old. He is. I want to fall into the well of promise. I want to revel in the idea that this has a future beyond a few more months of incredible sex.
"Or I could tell her and then we could see where it goes," I counter. Two can play wicked mind games, Dr. Foster.
"He blames me for our mother's death." His voice is dark. "That's never going to change, Kayla."
"You don't know that." I push his hands lower wanting to feel his fingers rush through my folds. "You can't predict that." I don't want to talk about Noah. I can't think about Alexa. All I want is Ben.
He gives in to my silent demands as his finger finds my clit. "I know that I'm not going to give this up for anything."
I spread my legs brazenly, kicking the covers off of us. I reach down to cover his hand with my own. "You don’t have to give this up."
He pushes a finger into me, luxuriously pulling the dampness from my channel before gliding it back over my clitoris. "You're mine. Noah can't take you away from me. No one can."
"No one can." I arch my back to give him more access. "No one will."
Chapter 18
"I saw you with him."
I know his voice before I turn to look at him. It's Noah.
"When?" It's not as though the details matter. I can hear the disappointment in his voice. There's no denying the anger that is sprinkled through his words. He's pissed.
"Yesterday." I sense movement behind me. "You were leaving his apartment and he kissed you in front of the building."
My focus was solely on Ben in that moment. He was hailing me a cab, sending me back home after he'd licked me to orgasm one last time. I'd felt treasured in that moment. He'd leaned down before shutting the taxi door to tell me he'd miss me.
"Why were you there?" I turn now to look at him. He's standing less than a foot away from me in a crowded bakery. "Why are you here now?"
"Alexa told me about the tie."
"What tie?" I take a step back. "I don’t know what you're talking about."
"His tie was in your apartment."
The tie. That fucking tie that she saw in my bathroom. "It was just a tie, Noah."
He moves closer to me, his hand jumping to my elbow. "I went to buy a suit because Alexa asked me to."
"Yes," I say because there's nothing else to offer as he steers me through the crowd and onto the street.
We finally stop near the edge of the building. The pedestrian traffic is moving quickly just a few feet away from us.
"I wanted that tie until the sales woman told me that they'd only sold one like that." His eyes bore into me. "She thought it was amusing that it was sold to another Mr. Foster. Actually, she said Dr. Foster bought it."
You've got to be shitting me. I'm busted because of a goddamn necktie?
"You had no right to follow me to his place, Noah." I know the words sound petulant and spiteful. "I'm old enough to make my own decisions."
"Alexa loves you." He taps his hand on my shoulder. "You're like a sister to her."
I don't feel the guilt that is implied within the words. Why should I? "Alexa gets to love you, why can't I…"I stop myself. I don't love Ben. I'm crazy in like with Ben. "Why can't I be with Ben?"