I pull away so I can meet his eyes with mine. “I have no doubt that you’re a wonderful surgeon, Evan, but you don’t even know what was wrong with her.”
He swallows hard. “Your mother died from an abdominal aortic aneurysm.”
I stare at his lips. Did he really just say that? “I’ve never told you that.”
His eyes close briefly before he locks them with mine. “I was there, Chloe. I was in the operating room. I was present when your mother died.”
I’m on my feet in an instant, my hands pushing against the air around me trying to find room to breathe. “You weren’t there. It was another doctor. You aren’t him, Evan.”
“Dr. Jordan Whitman made the notification to your family that night.” He searches my face. “I’m sorry, Chloe. I wanted to save her. If I would have had more time, I might have had a chance, but it was too late.”
“Too late?” I step back when he reaches for me. “You had a chance to save her life? You were there?”
“I was there,” he says softly.
“You saw her die?” My voice cracks as my body shakes with a sob. “Did she suffer? Was she in pain?”
“No.” He fists his hands at his sides. “It was quick. She wouldn’t have felt anything after she collapsed on the sidewalk.”
I turn away from him to sort through my thoughts. How could he have been there? I would have seen him. I would have felt something, wouldn’t I? We didn’t know each other then, but the bond that connects us now is so strong.
“There’s more.” I feel his hand on my shoulder. “I need to tell you something else.”
I spin back around. “About my mom? Is it about my mom?”
“No.” He hangs his head. “It’s about your ex-husband. I’m the reason he left you that night.”
Chapter 46
Evan
I’m grateful that Chloe decided we needed to take my confessional to a more private place.
She was shaking when we got in a cab near Central Park to go back to her apartment. I didn’t expect that the first time I’d see her home would be the day I was dragging her heart through the dirt, but life doesn’t always match up to my wants and needs and today is a prime example of that.
She didn’t say one word on the ride here and I didn’t either because what the fuck can a man say when he’s just told the woman he loves that he was one of the doctors who attempted to save her mother’s life and failed.
I step into the apartment after her. It’s mid-afternoon and light is filling the space. The walls are painted light blue, the furnishings are white, the accessories mostly pieces of art and above the fireplace mantle is a framed picture of her family.
It had to have been taken years ago, since Chloe is wearing braces, but it perfectly captures the joy in the faces of all six people in the photograph.
I stare at her mother’s face a moment longer than the rest. The regret of the day she died still haunting me.
Chloe drops her purse on the coffee table before she turns to face me. “How do you know Chris?”
“I don’t.” I shove my hands into the front pockets of my pants to resist the urge to hold her. “I met him the night your mother died. I went to the hospital chapel and he was there.”
“So that’s where he was?” She scoffs. “I looked everywhere for him after we got the news. I couldn’t find him. I needed him and he was nowhere to be found.”
I hate the bastard for not being next to her when Jordan delivered the news about her mother. I wish to fuck I would have been there for her. We were strangers then, but I would have felt compelled to take her in my arms. I know it. I feel it. The draw to be with her was strong from the first moment I saw her outside the hotel.
“I was reeling from the loss of your mother so I went to the chapel,” I confess. “I always go there when a patient dies. I need the solace to collect my thoughts.”
“We should sit.” She moves toward a sofa and I follow. Once she’s seated, I lower into the spot next to her. I want to wrap my arms around her but she’s made no move to touch me. I’m trying to respect her needs even though I want nothing but to forget I ever talked to Christopher Newell that night.
My chest expands as I go on even though I feel like there’s not enough air in my lungs. “Chris started talking about life and death and I listened. I needed to hear someone else’s pain to help soothe my own.”
I glance at her face and the look on it almost breaks my heart. I wait a beat for her to say anything but she’s silent.