I made up that last one, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s an image online of him with a hammer in his hand.
There are thousands of images of Chet for public consumption.
Long-haired Chet. Short-haired Chet. Chet in a speedo. Chet in a thousand dollar suit.
Misery loves company when you’re drunk on beer and staring at the guy who has been rolling in and out of bed with the woman you can’t stop thinking about.
Gunner steps into my office, closing the door behind him. “Mr. Colt? Sir? I can help.”
I highly doubt that.
“Is it about Ms. Conrad?” Gunner oversteps that boundary with ease.
“It’s none of your business.” I halt him in place with a hand in the air.
He stops. “You’ve been ignoring your calls since you got back from your meeting. You haven’t read any of your emails this morning. If you need to talk, I have two ears.”
“I appreciate the effort, Gunner, but we’ll never be friends.”
The corners of his mouth dip into a frown. I almost feel bad, but that passes within a half a second. I pay him too well to feel sorry for him.
He clears his throat. “Talking always beats sulking.”
“Firing your assistant beats listening to him quote bullshit.”
He laughs. “Mrs. Alcester needs a word, sir. She’s called twice already today.”
Of course, she needs a word. We’re due back in court days from now.
“Get her on the phone.” I point at my office door. “Do it from your desk.”
“Will do.”
I wait for him to take a step, but he stays in place, a grin plastered on his mouth.
“Now would be the time to get it done, Gunner.”
“Are you busy later?” He shuffles his feet on the floor. “I thought maybe we could go for pizza. My treat.”
I created a monster with a couple of slices of pepperoni and a cheap bottle of beer.
I offer him a compromise. “We’ll do lunch. One hour. Your treat and no beer.”
“I’ll meet you at the elevator at noon sharp.”
“I’ll get there when I get there,” I counter. “Go call Mrs. Alcester, and if Ms. Conrad calls…”
“I’ll put her right through, sir.” He smiles. “That goes without saying.”
***
The pizza was delicious. The company was bearable.
I sent Gunner back to the office ten minutes ago to handle an email from a client that requires an immediate response.
I took care of lunch because it’s a business expense. Gunner saw fit to view it through a friendship lens, but that’s on him.
I’m outside the restaurant now under the warming early afternoon sun.