It was sacred to him.
“We had a bond,” I explain. “He needed someone in his corner who would never betray him. That’s who I was to him.”
Dylan nods.
“I didn’t love him,” I clarify. “I don’t think he ever loved me, but I knew something about him that connected us.”
“What do you mean?” Curiosity knits Dylan’s brow.
“Clark had a secret,” I admit softly. “Only his dad and I knew.”
My relationship with Clark fell apart the night of the accident. The secret his father had tried so hard to keep buried was unearthed.
I saw him only a handful of times after the accident.
He begged for my forgiveness. I begged him to take care of himself.
He didn’t. He died a few years later without getting the surgery that may have saved his life.
I look up for forgiveness even though I know Clark would grant it unconditionally.
“What was the secret?” Dylan asks gently.
“Clark had a heart condition.” I circle my thumb over Dylan’s hand. “It was serious enough that he shouldn’t have been playing football.”
“I had no idea.”
“I promised I’d never tell anyone.” I hang my head. “He told me one night because he couldn’t keep it in. He was scared. I told him I’d always be there for him. He needed me to always be there for him.”
Dylan’s eyes search my face.
“He fainted behind the wheel the night of the accident.” I close my eyes. “I reached over to take control of the car, but it was too late.”
Taking my face in his hands, Dylan kisses my cheek. “I had no idea that’s what happened that night.”
“No one did,” I whisper. “After the accident, everyone did. It ended his football career. It ended everything.”
***
I sip water from the glass that Dylan handed me.
It pains me to know that he’s lived with guilt for so long. I had no idea that he had tried to trick Clark into believing that we had made love in a stranger’s bedroom in a house I’d never been to.
Clark would have been angry with Dylan for saying something like that about me, but he would never have believed it.
My virginity was important to me.
Clark respected that.
I did until the accident.
The pain of it and the long road to recovery changed me. I sought out short- term connections to feed a need inside of me.
One of those short-term connections was with Dr. Aron Steiner.
He was ten years old than me, ver
y successful, and handsome.