Wes and Gabe both fell silent as more tears streamed down my face.
A soft knock sounded at the door.
I stomped over and yanked it open. My jaw dropped as I came face to face with Tristan. He stared at me for a split second then pressed his lips into a hard line and pulled me in for a hug.
Warmth surrounded me as I returned the hug, pressing my face against his firm chest.
He nudged me into the room and kicked the door shut. When I pulled back, his gaze was murderous, though not directed at me, but Gabe and Wes. With a curse, he lifted his hands and wiped some of the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. His jaw flexed as he shook his head and then narrowed his eyes at the guys.
“What’s going on?” His voice was hard and even.
“You tell me.” Gabe crossed his arms.
I stayed in Tristan’s embrace. I felt dirty, used, spoiled, like I wasn’t even good enough to fight for. It was stupid for them to argue because, in the end, Gabe had been right. I know he hadn’t intentionally tried to hurt me, but hurt me he had, because he’d reminded me of what Taylor had told me right before he died.
“You’re used goods. Trash. You think a guy would touch you if he knew the things you’ve done with me? You think a good guy would even kiss those dirty lips of yours? I own you. Body and soul. You’re bad, like me, and the worst part is, you won’t even own up to it… at least I do. At least I know I’m bad.”
I hugged Tristan tighter, turning my face into his chest. I listened to the rapid beating of his heart and tried to match my breathing to the thump, even though with each second it was increasing.
Wes spoke up first. “We put cameras in the room… for her safety.”
Tristan tensed and then swore under his breath. “And you saw us kissing?”
Gabe’s voice cracked. “Yeah, we watched the PG-13 pizza party without sound, though, so don’t get too pissed off.”
“So…” I glanced up just as Tristan’s jaw clenched. “…let me get this straight. You decided to confront Lisa, by herself, without anyone to defend her, especially the guy who was just as guilty, and then made her cry, thinking that would actually help your case?”
Gabe closed his eyes and sighed. “I hate Lisa’s tears. She should know that by now. I live for her smiles. That’s it. I love her. She’s like a sister to me… I’m protective, yes, but she’s been getting threats.”
“Threats?” Tristan repeated, his face falling. “You mentioned something about threats at the benefit, and she did get attacked.”
“She hides them from me.”
“I’m right here!” I snapped, irritated that even Tristan was stepping into protective mode yet wasn’t even asking me how I felt about three men charging around my room stomping and roaring.
Gabe kept talking. “But I’m not stupid. She gets them in her mailbox, switches mailboxes, but they keep coming. Her dorm’s been broken into and the website—”
“Gabe, that’s enough!” I shouted. “Just leave it!”
“Website?” Tristan repeated in a low, intense voice. He settled his stare on me. “What website?”
“Gabe!” I begged, breaking free of Tristan’s hold and running across the room. He didn’t know what I’d just found on that site, and he was about to reveal it to the one guy I liked. “Please, please don’t, please.” I clawed at Gabe’s chest, pulled at his shirt, trying to get him to look at me so he could see the absolute terror on my face. When he finally made eye contact, I knew it was pointless.
His eyes were sad, heavy with guilt. “Lisa, he has to know. If he’s invested, he has to know. If he isn’t… then he isn’t worth your time.”
My body began to shake… he would know. He would know everything, and he’d leave before I ever got the chance to kiss him again or feel his protective arms around me once more time. He’d been the only guy in years I could kiss without feeling sick to my stomach, the only one who had challenged the old me and the new me. Gabe was taking that away from me.
The thing about your past… it never stays there. We just think it does until the time comes for it to reveal itself in all its gory shame. And there’s nothing, absolutely nothing a person can do, but watch.
The world turned to slow motion for me when Gabe walked over to the computer and started typing. My body felt too heavy; my head pounded as blood rushed to my temples. The website would still be saved in m
y search history, because I’d been looking at it last night.
He must have noticed because he cursed under his breath. I knew the rules, knew Gabe didn’t like me digging up my past ghosts. When the webpage popped up, I groaned, swaying on my feet.
Tristan was at my side immediately, tugging me toward the monitor, toward the sickness. I watched, like I wasn’t actually part of the nightmare in front of me. When Gabe clicked on the video, I almost puked. And when the talking began, when I heard Taylor’s voice, I finally caved.
I burst into tears, ran into the bathroom, and lost everything I’d eaten that day and then some. When my stomach was empty, I lay down on the cold floor and sobbed.