She stared wistfully down at the lovely thing, not really seeing it. Instead, she was hearing Liv’s voice, talking about her husband and son—she had a million stories about the two of them and often had Danni in stitches when they worked together.
Wish I could have that, whispered a soft little voice in Danni’s head. A man to love me, a baby to take care of, a family to come home to at night…
She couldn’t help thinking of her two failed relationships and how her own inability to have kids made her feel like they were both her fault. Of course, she knew cognitively that it wasn’t so—she’d had lots of therapy to establish that.
I am NOT less of a woman or less of a worthy person because I can’t have kids, she’d told herself in the mirror, every morning for years. My fertility does NOT define me.
But though the therapy had helped her feel much better about herself, she still wasn’t willing to risk getting burned again.
Of course, at her age, maybe she could have found a man who wasn’t interested in having kids—maybe a widow or a divorced guy who had already had kids by a previous relationship. But by this time, Danni was just used to being on her own. It felt like her chance at love and any kind of family life had passed her by. Far better to throw all her energy into her work and focus her attention on her career.
Still, there was that little part of her heart that felt sorry when she thought of all the possibilities that had passed her by. And her arms still felt empty when she saw someone with a new baby.
Danni looked down at the fertility sculpture again.
“I wish I could find a man who loves me and have a baby with him,” she said, and rubbed the deep pink pearl firmly with her thumb.
Then she pulled her hand away, feeling ridiculous. What kind of foolishness was she indulging in? She was open to new healing techniques, but this was all just fantasy and wishful thinking. It was time to get her head screwed on straight and get ready for her mission.
“And it’s going to go absolutely perfectly, no matter what that nasty Commander Bravik says,” she muttered to herself as she packed the sculpture away in its padded box.
But as she packed, she couldn’t help remembering her unpleasant first meeting with the big Kindred who was going on the mission to Soluu Four with her…
Two
“I was told there would be no civilians on this mission,” Commander Bravik had growled, when Danni introduced herself. “Why in the Seven Hells would Commander Sylvan authorize your presence without letting me know beforehand?”
Danni had been taken aback. She’d gone out of her way to track down Commander Bravik and introduce herself and this was the welcome she got?
“Maybe because I expressed interest in the mission and asked him to go after it was already established,” she said crisply. “I have an MD and a PhD in Medical Anthropology and I wanted to study the H’raken healing techniques—Commander Sylvan thought it was a good idea.”
“I don’t give a fuck about your credentials,” Commander Bravik said bluntly. “What I care about is having a civilian along that I’ll have to look out for if things go sideways.”
Danni had glared up at him. He was a big son-of-a-bitch, but then, all the Kindred were. She wasn’t about to let his seven-foot-tall height and impressive musculature intimidate her. She wasn’t sure what kind of Kindred he was—he looked a little like a Beast Kindred with his black hair, streaked with silver, and those gold-bronze eyes—but he also appeared to have fangs like a Blood Kindred, which was confusing.
What wasn’t confusing though, was the fact that he was being a dick.
“What are you expecting to happen, Commander?” she’d demanded. “From what we’ve learned so far, the H’raken people are extremely peaceful. They don’t have any history of war at all—period. How are things going to go ‘sideways’ in such a nonviolent society?”
“Any time you’re interacting with a new alien race, things can go sideways,” Commander Bravik rumbled. “I was on a first contact assignment to Teckla Delta about a decade ago. The Tecklans seemed peaceful and reasonable—a great alliance for the Kindred. Then we all sat down to dinner and the female beside me offered me a bite of her food.”
“Let me guess…” Danni said dryly. “You refused it and started a war.”
Commander Bravik glared at her, his thick black eyebrows pulling low over his golden-bronze eyes.
“No, I accepted it because I didn’t want to be rude. But yes, it did almost start a war. Turns out, offering someone a bite of food in Tecklan society is a tacit offer to have sex with them later. And the female offering me the food was the High Chieftain’s virgin daughter.” He shook his head. “Barely got out of that little adventure without a war or a wife or both.”