“Of course you couldn’t,” Stone told her. “It’s very difficult—if not impossible—to give your body without giving your heart.”
“But don’t you see, that’s just my point!” Cassandra exclaimed. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship the way my friendship with Gil was ruined! We used to be so close we told each other everything—I honestly thought we’d be friends for life. And now I’m lucky if I get a Christmas card once a year and send one to him in return. It’s just…bringing sex into a friendship is bad news.” She squeezed his arm urgently. “I don’t want to lose you like that, Stone. I don’t want to lose our friendship.”
A friend—that’s all I’ll ever be to her. That’s the way she sees me.
The knowledge was like a knife in his heart. Especially since he had been about to confess his true feelings for her. But Stone knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that even if he couldn’t have Cassandra as his mate and lover, he still wanted her in his life. Better to live a life of passionate celibacy with the woman he secretly loved, than to never see her again.
“Cassandra…” He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. “We are not going to lose each other,” he murmured.
“But how can you be sure?” she demanded.
“Because we’re not actually going to have penetrative sex,” Stone reminded her. “Our cover precludes that. Remember, I told you that Yonnite Mistresses never allow themselves to be penetrated by a male?”
“Oh.” She nodded, biting her lip. “Yes, I remember.”
“And you are playing the part of a Yonnite Mistress. So, we are not going to have actual sex. I promise you that,” Stone said firmly.
Though the Goddess knew he wanted to! But it was better not to, considering that he couldn’t bond her to him when all she wanted was friendship.
“We are doing other things, though,” Cassandra pointed out. “Very intimate things.”
“Again, we knew we would have to touch each other intimately in order to play these parts,” Stone reminded her patiently. “But I understand if this is too much for you. We can leave if you want to—say we left something in our ship and fly off of Bachanalius before anyone can stop us.”
“Leave? Before we complete our mission?” Her lovely brown eyes blazed. “No way! I never said I wanted to leave, Stone!”
“Well then…” He shrugged expansively. “You must resign yourself to letting me touch you and to touching me in return, at least while we are ‘working’ together on these porn vids we are expected to do.” Bending down a little, he looked directly into her eyes. “Does it bother you so much, Cassandra? Having my hands on you?”
“Well…no.” She dropped her eyes and twisted her fingers in her lap nervously. “I…I guess not. But there’s one thing I need to know.”
“Name it and I will tell you,” Stone said simply. Though he might be concealing his true feelings for her, he would endeavor to be truthful in everything else. They had always promised not to lie to each other and he intended to keep that promise as much as he could.
“Those things…the things you said to me while you were, er, massaging me…” Her big brown eyes flicked back up to his and then down again, as though she couldn’t bear to hold his gaze.
“Yes?” Stone asked patiently.
“Did…did you mean them?” she almost whispered.
“You mean when I said that you have a beautiful body and I fantasized about touching you?” Stone murmured.
“Yes…that.” She looked up at him again. “I mean, I understand if you were just playing a part and—”
“Cassandra…” Lifting her chin with one finger, Stone looked her in the eyes. “I meant every word,” he told her softly. “Everything I said was true.”
“Oh!” Her cheeks were pink with a blush, her pupils dilated, and Stone could smell the sweet, feminine fragrance of her desire again. She might only want to be his friend, but she liked the idea that he desired her, he realized. Or at least, her body reacted to his lust—from the look on her face, her mind was still doubtful of the situation.
“Does it bother you to know that I desire you?” Stone asked her, still holding her gaze. “That I think you are the most beautiful female I have ever seen?”
“I…I guess not,” she murmured breathlessly. “It’s just…I mean…why didn’t you ever say anything before?”
Stone lifted his shoulders.
“How could I? When I first met you, you were still joined to that waste of oxygen, Keith. After that, our partnership had already been established and I was given to understand that it isn’t considered proper to display sexual desire for your partner. Also, I didn’t want you to feel awkward around me, and I thought that you would if you knew how beautiful I find you.”