Liosh wished he could offer to help bathe her but now that her cast had fallen off, he really had no excuse to be with her in the fresher. He cast about in his mind, trying to think of anything else that might cheer Melinda up.
“Would you like to practice cuddling again after your bathe?” he asked, hopefully. In truth, he had been wishing he could hold her again all day. The night before when the two of them had been so close and comfortable with each other made him long for more of the same.
But Melinda looked down at her hands and shook her head.
“I don’t think…don’t think that would be a good idea,” she said in a low voice.
Liosh frowned.
“Why? You seemed to enjoy our cuddling the night before.”
“That’s the problem.” She looked up at him. “I did enjoy it. Too much.”
“But…how can you enjoy something too much?” Liosh asked, confused. “I don’t understand.”
“I mean, I enjoyed cuddling with you so much I’m afraid it might…might lead to something more.” Melinda twisted her fingers in her lap. “Do you know what I mean?”
She’s frightened of me, Liosh thought, his heart fisting in his chest. She’s afraid I’ll want more than she’s willing to give.
“Melinda,” he murmured, lifting her chin to look into her eyes. “Have I made you uncomfortable in some way? Have I made you believe that I’ll demand sexual favors you’re unwilling to give? Because I promise, I would never ask you to do something you’re not ready to do.”
“But what if I’m never ready?” she burst out, her big blue eyes filled with pain. “What if it’s not that I’m unwilling, but that I’m unable to give you what you want, Liosh?”
Then she seemed to get hold of herself because she shook her head and sniffed deeply.
“Sorry—that was stupid of me,” she said in a low voice. “Here I am acting like you really like me when we’ve only been pretending and practicing and—”
“I do like you, Talli,” Liosh said softly. He stroked her cheek gently with one finger, still looking into her eyes. “It’s probably too early to declare myself, but, well…from the moment I saw you, I wanted you for my own. I want you to know, though, that I’m willing to wait. And if you don’t feel the same way—”
“But I do feel the same way,” Melinda exclaimed. “I felt the same way about you right away—that you were the one for me. But…but I can’t, Liosh.”
“Can’t what?” he asked gently, still cupping her cheek.
“I can’t ever bond with you.” She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears.
“Why not?” Liosh was utterly confused now. She had admitted to feeling for him the same way he felt for her, so why was she saying they could never be bonded? “I don’t understand,” he said again.
But Melinda only shook her head.
“You should forget about me and try to like some other girl once this assignment is over for you,” she told him. “You don’t want me, Liosh. I…I’m broken. I’ll never be able to be with you the way you want me to.”
Then, before he could say anything else, she rushed into the bedroom and closed the door behind her.
Seventeen
The ride home was terse and silent. Jodi was still pissed off at the big Kindred. How dare he critique her relationship with James? How dare he say such awful things about her fiancé right to her face?
Don’t you mean, how dare he say such true things? a little voice whispered in her head. Vorn only talked about James not being responsive to your needs or sensitive to what you’ve been through lately. Admit it—he’s not wrong.
But Jodi wasn’t willing to admit that. She was too angry and not just at the way the big Kindred had talked to her. No, she was also pissed off that she was going to have to go home and spend another night with his warm, leather and smoke and spice scent tormenting her while she was completely unable to meet her needs.
What the hell am I supposed to do with myself? she wondered as the sleek Kindred shuttle-car cruised down Fletcher Avenue. How am I ever going to get to sleep tonight? I’m so horny I’m climbing the walls!
Yet she knew that she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it—anything to help herself. If James had come home for some “alone time” as she had requested, she might have been able to get off. But without any of her props to dress in or her toys to play with, the orgasm she needed was going to be out of reach.
Admit it, Jodi, that little voice whispered again. You use James as a prop too. You close your eyes when he’s inside you and pretend he’s someone else…someone bigger…someone who will make you mind…