You just know.”
“Know what?” Angel looked confused.
“That you belong together. That you can never be with anyone else. And then after he sucked out the Wolf’s Bane that pinche puta Mercedes infected me with, we had an even deeper connection. I didn’t mean for it to last but I couldn’t help it. Hell, after a while I didn’t want to help it.” He sighed. “Look, Angel, I wanted to tell you about it.
We’ve been best friends since fifth grade—I figured I owed it to you to let you know I wanted out of the pack instead of just up and leaving. That’s one reason I came back.”
“I can’t let you out just like that, Paul. You know that.” Angel shook his head.
Paul sighed. “Yeah, that’s why I was going to try to talk to you in private. Without the rest of the pack. But I can’t stay—I have to go with Laurent. He needs me.”
It looked to Paul like Angel was wavering between rage and confusion but finally rage won out. “He needs me,” he mimicked savagely. “Will you fucking listen to yourself? This is a vampire we’re talking about—a muerto. We hunt their dead asses down and kill them. Look at you.” He gestured contemptuously at the fang marks on Paul’s neck. “You let him use you like a fucking chew toy. Let him fuck you and bite you and…and…I mean it’s disgusting.”
“Actually I was fucking him when he bit me. That’s how we do it.” Paul knew he was only making the situation worse, throwing gasoline on the fire, but he couldn’t help it. Angel had kept him hanging for literally years, panting after him like a trained dog. Not your dog anymore, ’mano. And I’m never going to be again.
“You hijo de puta.” Angel slapped him again, hard enough that Paul’s head rocked back and he saw stars. “You make me fucking sick.”
“Yeah, right—like you never wanted it from another guy.” Paul grinned up at him recklessly through red-stained teeth. “I’ve seen the look on your face when you bust a wolf out of the pack and make him suck your dick. You fucking love every minute of it.”
“Shut up!” Angel screamed. “That’s fucked up—it’s sick!”
“It’s true,” Paul shouted back. “True and you know it. But you want to know what the sick thing is? For years I wondered what it would be like—to be the one on my knees in front of you, sucking you. I wanted that. I wanted you. But you were never going to let me have you, Angel, so I found somebody else who would.” His voice dropped and he stared his best friend in the eyes. “Someone who loves me like you never could.”
Angel’s face was twisted in rage and pain and his hands were balled at his sides in fists. Looking at him, Paul realized there were actually tears in his eyes. He had never seen his normally cool and collected packleader look so wild, so out of control. Shouldn’t have said all that. I pushed him too far. But it was something he’d been waiting to say for years and it was too late to unsay it now.
“That’s it.” Angel stood and crossed his arms over his chest. “I wanted to help you, Paul, but you’re leaving me no fucking choice.”
“Angel—”
“No. There’s nothing more to say.” Turning, he walked to the door and threw it open. “Everybody back in here. It’s time for pack justice. And this time I fucking mean it.”
Paul, are you all right? What’s happening? Laurent’s voice came through their link.
I don’t know, babe, but I think it’s gonna be bad. I want you to tune me out now—all the way out. Don’t want you to see this. Don’t want you to feel it either.
Never. Your pain is my pain, I won’t leave you.
But what if… Paul didn’t want to say it, but it had to be said. What if they kill me? I’ll take you down too. I hate to say it but maybe…maybe it’s time to think of breaking the bond.
What? No—you swore to me that you would never do that, never try that again. Laurent sounded almost desperate. Please, Paul…
Paul started to answer but then Angel kicked him, breaking his concentration.
“Pay attention—your judgment is here, maricon. ” Paul thought of saying he wasn’t the only maricon in the room but decided he’d pushed things far enough already. Instead he watched as Chulo and the pack filed in, their eyes wolf-yellow with blood lust. I’m just an outsider to them, he realized as the pack surrounded him. For so many years I ran with the Locas but I was never one of them.
Not really.
Angel came to stand in front of him, shouldering the other wolves out of the way to do so. He looked down at Paul, his eyes red and his mouth a trembling sneer of hatred.