The very idea of rejecting a lover based on sex was foreign to Laurent. He had been raised in the sexually permissive Court of the Blood, where almost nothing was forbidden. Nothing but loving an enemy. That was also true. If his father and mother had the slightest inkling that he had fallen hopelessly in love with a wolf…well, Laurent didn’t even like to think of the consequences. Sufficient to say that more than his right to the family title would be in jeopardy. In fact, he’d been taking a risk having Paul in the carriage house apartment at all. His father might have walked in at any moment.
But Laurent couldn’t help himself. Any risk, any danger, no matter how great was worth it. Paul was worth it.
Sighing, he remembered the press of the other man’s body against his. The wolf smelled of warm fur and leather and spice—a wild scent that made Laurent’s senses tingle and his cock grow hard. He felt it too. He wanted me as I wanted him. Paul’s mouth had been so hot—his kisses desperate—almost ravenous. He kissed and touched me like a starving man being offered food for the first time.
It made Laurent wonder if the wolf had ever had another lover before. Perhaps he had but Laurent was willing to bet said lover hadn’t been male. How long had he been hungry? Laurent was no judge of age but he knew that weres aged slower than humans, though not as slowly as his own kind. Paul had to at least be in his mid-twenties and if he had reached sexual maturity in his teens… He’s spent years. Years and years longing for what he felt he could not have. For what has been forbidden to him.
Laurent tried to imagine how he would feel if he had never been allowed to follow his natural impulses and touch another man. Wouldn’t he be hungry for hard male flesh beneath his fingers, desperate for the delicious friction of another cock against his own? That was how Paul had acted the few times he had allowed himself to take what Laurent had offered him. Like he was so starved for the touch of another man he couldn’t get enough.
Oh mon amour, Laurent thought sadly. How gladly would I satisfy your appetite! You could have as much as you wanted all night long. I would suck you and stroke you and let you take me as often as you wished. I would take you too, if you desired it. But even in his wildest fantasies, he couldn’t imagine Paul wanting that. To submit to another male, to allow another man to enter his body…no, he would doubtless see that as the ultimate sin. The ultimate shame. However, Laurent didn’t mind the idea of always being on the bottom.
Opening himself to another man didn’t frighten or disturb him, and if there had ever been a man he was willing and eager to have within him, it was Paul.
You might as well forget that fantasy. You’ll probably never see him again, let alone make love with him. Laurent sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t bear never to see Paul again—but what could he do if the wolf refused to come to him? I’ll give him a few nights, he decided at last. But then I must seek him out again. I cannot live knowing he is in the world but not in my life. There is a connection between us—I know it. I feel it. And Paul would feel it too if he would only allow himself to be open to his attraction to another man.
In fact, Laurent could feel their connection now. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back against the leather couch and pictured the wolf in his mind. He could almost see Paul—streaking through the night on his motorcycle, the powerful engine gunning beneath his legs and his eyes wet with tears… Tears? Wait a moment. Laurent sat up and opened his eyes. Would he really be crying? Where did I get such an idea?
Frowning he closed his eyes again and reached out, trying to picture Paul in his mind. He saw the wolf again, another flash of him leaning over the chrome handlebars of his bike, the wind whistling through his bristly dark blond hair. Laurent could almost feel that wind—cool and soothing against his wet, fevered cheeks. But he could feel something else as well. Pain…confusion…why am I like this? Why do I want him so much? Why can’t I just be fucking normal like everyone else?
Laurent opened his eyes again, shocked. Had he actually heard Paul’s thoughts?
They had been faint and staticky, like receiving a transmission from a far distant source, but he was certain that his mental image of the wolf was not just his own vivid imagination at work. He was attuned to Paul now, seeing the world through his eyes, however imperfectly, when he concentrated. And that meant that Paul was probably attuned to him as well. But how?