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I roll my eyes instead of replying.

“Does he talk with his mouth full? Eat loud? Is he obnoxious?”

I shake my head. “I can’t explain it.”

“Poor you.” She rolls her eyes.

“Can I stay over or not? You know I’m desperate. I’d have to be to put up with your snoring.”

“Way to try to catch a fly with vinegar, Ally.”

“Seriously, Stace, I need to. If you have shit planned, I’ll do it with you. Or do nothing while you do it, I don’t care. I just need a place to hide out. If you say no, I’m booking a hotel for the weekend. If you say yes, I’ll buy you dinner tonight and tomorrow.”

“All right, whatever.” She waves a hand with a roll of her eyes. “You can come with me to the shelter Saturday morning and clean litter boxes if you wanna.”

“Totally fine,” I say.

She volunteers at an animal shelter and is always trying to get me to go. I’ve refrained so far because I’m afraid I’ll want to take all the pets home with me. Homeless pets are what I suspect is my kryptonite. Probably because I feel so displaced. And I can’t fall in love with homeless pets and take them home because I don’t know how long before I have to move on.

I’m going to have to try really hard to not look any kitties in the eyes while I clean their litter boxes.

***

I phone Tori on my lunch hour for my monthly Mom check-in. When my mother refused to hide from the Steele brothers with me, I paid Tori to make sure someone checks on her once a week with the plan to call me if anything happens but once a month if all is good. Tori tells me all is well with my mom, stepdad, and his kids before she pitches me about a lead she has for a teaching gig in Japan for three to six months.

I tell her I don’t speak Japanese, but she says it’s for English-speaking kids. She can fake my credentials and says it’s not a really big deal because I’ll be teaching five-year-olds, so surely I can sing the alphabet, do fingerpainting, and read stories to them. It’s not like I’ll have to teach calculus.

I say I’ll think it over even though it’s pretty fucking sketchy that if I had a five-year-old in school, any of their teachers could be there under fake credentials.

She reminds me I’ve been in one place for more than we planned. Too long. And sadly, I really should consider Japan.

Back when we first came up with the plan to keep me moving every three months or so, I was excited about the prospect of travel, of seeing the world. So far I’ve only worked in Baltimore, Nevada, and now California, but Japan? Now that would really be traveling.

Six months ago, I’d be stoked about the opportunity to travel abroad. But I don’t want to go. Not remotely.

The only way I want to go on a trip to Japan is if it’s a tour with my friends.

I try to put it out of my mind until it’s time to leave for Stacy’s.

Maybe Jude will think I’m at a guy’s house. The guy I supposedly had over last night. It was fortuitous that he wasn’t there when I got home because I took five minutes and staged it like I had company. Luckily, I turned on the lobby TV channel and saw when he came in. And it was a good thing I was quick about it too because he was practically right behind me.

When the newlyweds get back from their honeymoon on Sunday, I’ll put the pressure on Aiden to get Jude out. Though, maybe Jude’ll move out by that point. Maybe his renovations will be done. And if not, maybe by me being gone all weekend, he’ll realize that I’m just not interested. Surely, last night would’ve sent a strong message.

At three o’clock in the morning I snuck out and removed the men’s shoes that were by the front door, hiding them in my nook.

And then I slept terrible. I’ve slept like crap all week so far because of Jude. Stacy shares an apartment with two other girls, and she snores. But this is a necessity and being there will be way better than spending a weekend in a hotel room by myself.

***

I don’t sleep great at Stacy’s. Instead, I spend Friday and Saturday nights fretting about this situation, thinking about upending my life again, and when I do doze, he’s not only invaded my apartment but also my dreams. I can’t seem to get away from this guy.

Though, I’m pretty proud of myself because I refrained from adopting any pets at the shelter Saturday. I dug deep and managed to exercise self-control. But only because I might have no choice other than to take that job in Japan. In the meantime, they need all the help they can get there so I’ll be volunteering at the shelter on Saturdays with Stacy.


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