Holy cow. Good god. Is this really happening?
“Hi,” I kind of croak out, extra-raspy.
Jude gives me a strange look as he rises and gives his brother a bro-shake and back slap.
Julian greets everyone else and sits in the empty spot reserved for him. That chair is directly across from me, for fuck’s sake. This couldn’t be any more awkward.
I’m sitting across the table from a guy I’ve seen fucking women. Multiple women. I’ve seen him naked. I’ve seen his peen. It’s a big one and he knows how to use it. One video I watched; it was two women at once. And I watched him with my fingers in my panties, thinking about Jude.
That’s him. I’m 100% sure. 200%. What are the odds?
Baka says, “Ally. Is it not good? Your face looks a little green.”
“No, it’s good,” I say and lift my hard-shelled taco. “It’s great. If I’m green it’s because I’ve eaten too much guacamole.” I take a big bite and pass Luka the guacamole, doing my very best to avoid looking at Julian. Or Jude. Because it feels like I’m going to have what I know, what I saw, and what I did written all over my face.
Julian and Roman are talking about some sort of sporting event coming up while Julian loads food onto his plate and Jude suggests they all watch it here on the weekend.
“That work for you, Vixen? You can invite your friends, too. I’ll call Aiden.”
I say nothing. My mouth isn’t working.
“Ally?”
I shake myself free of my frozen state. “Sure, yeah. Sounds good.”
“Jude says you’re bringin’ home another cat tomorrow?” Roman says and I’m momentarily and gratefully distracted by getting to tell him about the animal shelter I’m volunteering at as well as Ralphie.
I do this trying to avoid looking at Julian who sits beside Roman but it’s nearly impossible. I stutter a little and my face feels so dang hot.
Julian seems oblivious, so I continue to work at my dinner and it feels like the meal goes on forever.
“Did you make any of those famous cupcakes today?” Julian asks me.
I avoid eye contact. “No, not today. I just got home from work a little while ago.”
“Damn, those’re good. What’s for dessert then?”
“Did you forget the donuts?” Ana asks. “I messaged to ask you to get donuts on the way here.”
“Shit, sorry,” Julian shrugs, then tries, “Maybe Ally can make cupcakes.”
“That’ll take too long,” Baka says. “But we can all go for ice cream. That place near the beach.”
“Group outing,” Ivana says with excitement.
“Uh, you guys can do that. I think we’ll skip it for tonight,” Jude says. “Gotta wrap this up no later than nine.”
I’m relieved. I want this evening over sooner than later so I can escape the horror of sitting across the table from Jude’s porn star brother, but not like I can do anything about it.
“Oh. What’s up?” Ana asks.
“Got a work thing,” Jude says, but his eyes don’t look right.
“So, you go to your work thing, Ally can come with us,” Baka suggests.
Jude’s jaw tenses. He doesn’t want me out and about without a bodyguard and he obviously doesn’t want his family to know there’s danger lurking. And is he picking up on my vibe right now?
“I’ve got a work project of my own actually, and I have to catch up with that tonight.”
Baka’s expression drops. “What about dessert?”
“We bought all those cookies,” Aunt Ivana says. “I helped to pick them out.”
“Yes,” Baka says, clapping her hands. “That’s right. We bought six boxes of cookies for Ally’s shopping list. We can have cookies.”
“Should we clear out early?” Ana asks.
“Don’t rush out.” I wave my hand. “I can work on it after nine.”
In my head I want everyone to go and to disappear myself before Jude figures out something is wrong with me, but I can’t be rude like that. I look at him and yikes. He’s already figured it out. Probably not the what, only that there’s something.
Does he even know his brother makes porn?
After everyone is finished with tacos, me, Baka, Ana, Ivana, and Abby clean the kitchen.
The guys stay at the table shooting the breeze, mostly talking about sports from what I can decipher, which isn’t much right now – I’m that rattled. Prabaka moves over to the living space and reclines her seat. In about five minutes, I notice her eyes are closed.
We join everyone for cookies once everything is put away and when I sit back down, Jude takes my hand and kisses it.
I lean in and touch my lips to his.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey,” I return and rub my nose over his.
“You good?” he asks.
“Yeah, of course,” I lie.
My heart is playing hopscotch in my chest as I try to act casual.
“Headin’ up to the roof for a smoke,” Julian announces.
“I’ll keep you company,” Luka offers.