“Food,” I say, shaking the massive bags I’m holding. I unpack it on the table under the gazebo and yeah, there’s enough here for six people.
She comes over and dishes herself up a heaping plate, then goes back to her lounge chair and sets it down on the seat before turning the chair to an angle that gives me her back.
So it’s gonna be like this, is it?
She needs time to digest. Her world is rocked right now, but it’s been rocked for a long time and I’m about to tilt it back to true north.
I hit the command on my phone for a classic rock station to stream from the speaker I have inside the gazebo.
After I’m done eating, I head back inside, taking the food with me to put away. She’s still eating, still ignoring me.
35
Ally
He would have an awesome rooftop patio that would make me think about having parties. Getting a telescope and bringing Sonia’s girls up here to stargaze and have a rooftop sleepover. Dinners with Aiden and Carly.
Growing vegetables. Dad and I used to grow tomatoes and cucumbers in our backyard. I would love to grow another vegetable garden.
Playing Monopoly with his fucking awesome family in that gazebo while sparring with his grandmother.
I hate him.
I hate him.
I hate him.
I’m in love with him.
And I’ve known for months that it’d hurt when I had to eventually leave this city and this life, but now, after a taste of Jude, it’s going to do more than hurt. It’s going to kill. But now I don’t know what to do because flukes are connecting dots, because I don’t have Tori or Wade. Because Jonah and Thad might find me and hurt Jude. Or maybe he tries to take them down and fails and then his family gets hurt because they take that revenge out on him as well as me.
He’s playing with no rules and he’s winning because I’m totally, utterly stumped about what to do here.
Let him handle this?
Risk all the bad things that could happen?
Take off so I don’t have to be here to watch what happens if it all goes wrong?
Go face the music with the Steele brothers now before they find me so that they can’t go after anyone here in San Diego because they don’t have time to connect those dots? That would still leave Mom, John, Sophie, and Janie at risk.
I sit on the roof until Jude goes, until it’s dark, and then finally head down the stairs and then to the kitchen level to get rid of my paper plate, plastic fork, and empty water bottle. He’s at his dining room table with his laptop open, looking focused on an email.
His eyes dart up to meet mine.
Georgie figure-eights around my ankles, so I squat and scratch behind her ears.
I give him my best dirty look as I pass, toss my trash in his trash bin, then grab a bottle of water from the fridge before I go back upstairs to his room, finish making his bed, climb into the bed and grab the remote control from the nightstand to turn on his TV, which is ridiculously large for a bedroom, but kind of awesome.
***
I’m stirred awake because of roaming hands.
It’s dark, but I know it’s him by the scent of him, by the feel of his fingers trailing up my jaw to my hair. I’m on my side and his heat is spooning the back of me.
Lips touch my neck.
“I know you’re pissed at me, but been waiting to fuck you in this bed for a long fucking time, Ally.”
Despite everything, his husky voice and his warm body make me wet.
“I’m speaking to you right now only to tell you that I’m not speaking to you,” I tell him.
I’m not really pissed at him. I’m not pissed at Carly either. I’m pissed at my situation more than anything. Myself. I don’t know how to verbalize that without showing him more of myself. My weak, stupid self.
“You don’t have to speak to me while I fuck you if you don’t want to.”
He’s unbelievably cocky.
As if I’m going to let him fuck me.
His lips touch down on my neck, then again on the shell of my ear. My hair is in his fist as kisses the corner of my mouth.
“Then again, if you want to ask for more… or plead to come, you might need to talk.”
I don’t kiss him back, but I also don’t pull away. I can feel his hardness against my butt. The zipper on the front of my Peeps onesie goes down, down, down, and then his hand is cupping my breast.
My nipple pebbles at his touch and my flesh breaks out in goosebumps, too.
He keeps massaging my boob while grinding into my ass. His left hand snakes under my hip and then finds its way into my onesie, down to cup me between the legs. I’m not wearing anything under it and his fingers glide through wetness, eliciting a rumbling sound of approval that I feel from him because it vibrates straight through me.