“I can save her,” I say to myself, hope rising in my chest. “I can save her!” I hold out my wrist and with a savage tear, sink my teeth into my veins, ripping open the skin. Pain shoots through me, but I’m half numb to it already.
The blood flows freely from the wound, dripping onto the floor, and I raise my hand to bring it to her mouth, wanting her to drink, to be reborn.
But Solon is quick.
Suddenly he’s behind me, hauling me to my feet, arms wrapping around me as he holds me back. “You’re not doing this,” he says gruffly into my ear.
“Let go of me!” I scream, trying to kick out. “Please let go, let go!”
I can save her, I know I can.
She’ll become a vampire like us, she’ll live forever, I’ll never have to lose my best and only friend.
Tears keep flowing, savage growls torn from my throat as I keep trying to fight Absolon with everything I’ve got, but he’s too strong, too unyielding. He holds me tighter, his mouth pressed at my ear.
“You can’t save her,” he says roughly. “Okay? You can’t. I can’t either. We would condemn her to a life of hell. She’d hate you for it, if she even knew who you were. This wouldn’t be your friend you’d bring back to life, it would be someone else, just a shadow of the person she used to be. She’d be a monster.”
“Please,” I sob, my voice drowning in my tears. I stare at her lifeless body, my vision still sharp despite the tears that never stop flowing.
“Lenore,” he says fiercely, shaking me. “No. I can’t let you do this. You would regret it for the rest of your very long life.”
I try and fight him some more, but the energy is running out of me, tempered by the grief that is building and building in waves.
“I can’t lose her,” I cry out pitifully. “I can’t lose her.” I gasp for air, my lungs choking from the sobs ripping through me. “This is my fault.
It’s my fault she’s dead.”
“Lenore,” Solon says, his voice dropping to a whisper.
Then he turns me around so I’m facing him and I bury my head into his chest. One arm wraps around me, fastening me to him tightly, the other palm cupping my head.
My fingers grip his shirt like I’ll never be able to let go, holding onto him as he holds onto me. I cry and I cry, for the loss of my friend, for the loss of everything. The tears never seem to stop flowing.
But Solon never stops holding onto me, cradling my head against his chest, his heartbeat slow and steady, the rock-solid feel of his body giving me the stability I lack.
He presses his lips against the top of my head. “I’ve got you, you can let go. I’ve got you.”
His words only make me cry more.
“Don’t leave me,” I whimper, my real, true fear.
“I’m never leaving you,” he says, his lips brushing against my hair.
I don’t know how long we stay like that, standing in my kitchen, holding onto each other, gripped in turmoil, and tsunamis of grief, waves of horror.
It could be an eternity for all I know.
Eventually though, we break apart.
Because Elle is dead.
And in the real world, this could be a big problem.
“What do we do?” I whisper to him, pulling back from his chest. It’s soaked in my snot and tears.
He places his hand at my cheek, peering down at me, determination on his low brow. “You leave that to me.”
He lets go of me and walks over to her body, creating a door of flames in the air with just a snap of his fingers.