“You’re sassy and spirited, and I have no idea how to deal with that, aside from everything else. After you left, my cousins suggested we work together to figure it out instead of working against each other.”
“Gee, sounds like the cards.”
His lips twitch again. “That’s what I thought. Don’t…don’t tell me I told you so or anything. Just…I don’t know why you hate me, but I was wondering if you could let it go for a little bit and focus instead on getting the ring taken care of so we can go our separate ways. But we should be nice to each other before that happens.”
“I don’t think you know how to be nice.” It’s too sassy, and I know it’s shitting all over Ash’s peace offering, but he doesn’t take offense.
“Maybe I don’t. But this…” He waves his hand over me from head to toe. “This isn’t right. I don’t know why you’re crying. Well, actually, I can only imagine, given everything that’s happened in less than twenty-four hours.”
“It’s not…” I stop. I don’t talk about this. People get weird when I say things about my family, but I don’t blame them. What is there really to say? I wouldn’t be any better in their shoes. “Nothing.” I shake my head. “It’s just…you’re right. This is hard.” It’s vastly better than admitting that the longing I felt watching five family members come together with great and obvious affection for each other nearly crippled me.
“You know what I think will fix it?”
“I can only imagine.” I wipe my face again, smearing snot and tears all over the place. Good lord, I seriously need to wash my face and get cleaned up.
“Well, fresh clothes for a start. I had Leandra bring some over.”
“We could have just driven over to my apartment together.”
Ash’s face falls. “Yeah, I didn’t think of that.”
“Because you’re an asshole,” I say without heat. In the joking kind of way that will make him think I don’t think of him that way anymore. Suddenly and without warning. But deep down, I still do. Because it’s a fact, and facts are always true. Right? I do still think of him that way. I swear I do.
His lips twitch for a third time. Getting a genuine smile out of him is harder than I thought. Not that I want to do that. Because I don’t care if he smiles or not, and certainly, if he did, the brightness of it would not pierce through the dark of night, storm clouds, grief, or my lady bits. Nope. Just nope.
“Perhaps. Maybe. I uh…can probably be insensitive sometimes.”
“Just sometimes?”
“Okay, I didn’t think of going to your place to get a change of clothes. I’m sorry. But I did ask my cousin to bring some over. She owns a high-end boutique, selling clothing and shoes and stuff. The bag’s downstairs, so you can check it out. I did look through it, and I think you’ll like what she brought over. You can keep it.”
My lips part, but no sound comes out. Suddenly, my mouth is so dry that I can barely swallow, but inside, I feel wet and mushy.
“I took the price tags off so it can’t be returned, but also so you won’t feel guilty. Or accuse us of being rich and throwing money around. It was a gift. You can call me an asshole if you like, but my brother, although it kills me to say it because he was annoying as hell growing up, and my cousins, who were also just as annoying as hell, are good people. They always were, and they’ve become good adults. We might have our issues, and yes, we have money, but it doesn’t make us devoid of feelings. If you want to think of me as the worst of all of them, I can handle that. But give them a break. Please.”
Suddenly, I feel like the asshole. My recorder is hidden under the bed, and I feel like it’s burning a hole through the floor, announcing my guilt. No matter how much I work with Ash on getting the ring off, I’m still going to betray him after, even if I find out that he’s maybe not as bad as I thought. I have to. I have to because vengeance is the only thing that can…can what? Save my dad? Make him less depressed? Bring back my mom and the past decade of my life that I’ve spent missing her? Justify anything at all?
Holy ballsacks, what the heck is happening to me?
I nervously bring my right hand up to my left and try and twist the ring because it seems like something good to work at, but it doesn’t budge. It just makes the skin of my finger burn when I try and grasp it, though not an irregular burn. Just an I’m not going anywhere, so quit trying to pull me off or play with me kind of a burn. It slightly mirrors what’s going on in my twisted up, churning insides.