Sluggishly she shakes her head. Her voice is raw from the waterboarding. “Why did you… do it? Why did… you lie?”
“Because I knew you’d be horrified once you found out who I really am,” I admit, knowing there’s no place for lies anymore.
“You… you kill people,” she sputters, and I see the disbelief and fear clouding her eyes. “I-I… saw it.”
“It’s who I am,” I reply. “It’s all I’ve ever been until you.”
She swallows hard, and it looks painful. I reach for the water next to the bed and hold the straw to her lips. She takes a sip, and her tongue darts out to gingerly wet her bruised lips.
Christ, it kills me to see her like this.
Resting my forearm above her head, I lean closer. “Your smile brightened my life. Everything we shared was real. None of that was a lie.”
Her eyes begin to shine. “I-I don’t even… know who you are.” The heartache tightening her features echoes through me.
There’s an urgency in my voice as I say, “I’m the same man you fell in love with.” When she begins to shake her head, I move to sit on the side of the bed and gently framing her face, I plead, “You know the real me, baby. You’re one of the few people who do.”
“You kill people for a living,” she cries, the sound raw and unforgiving. She turns her face away from me, and seeing Alexei, she says, “Tell him to leave.”
Alexei immediately rises to his feet. “Brother.”
Knowing he will use force, I pull back, and getting up, I step away from the bed. I don’t want to leave, but right now, I have no choice.
“Give her some space,” Alexei says.
“I love you, Hailey,” I murmur, wanting her to know my feelings for her haven’t changed. They never will.
Walking out of the room, I hear Alexei sit down again. “Are you hungry?” he asks her, and then the door shuts behind me, blocking out the sounds.
I sag down to the floor and cover my mouth with my hands.
What am I going to do?
Christ, what am I going to do?
She’s scared to death of me.
Panic bleeds through me, the emotion foreign. I have no control over what Hailey decides, not with Alexei standing behind her.
I understand why he’s protecting her, and I’m thankful for it. I fucked up, and he’s cleaning up the mess. Alexei knows I love Hailey, and that means he’ll watch over her for the rest of her life. I would do the same for the woman he loves.
I close my eyes as the heartache grows, engulfing my soul.
Fuck.
Would it have changed things if I had told her the truth, or would I have lost her sooner?
Is the pain she’s suffering through worth the time I got to spend with her?
I cross my arms over my knees and lower my head feeling ashamed when I don’t have an answer. I’d do anything to stop her from getting hurt, but giving up the love we shared? I can’t.
After a couple of minutes, I climb to my feet. I open the door, and Alexei’s eyes instantly dart to mine. Slowly, he shakes his head.
“Just letting you know I’m going to Saint Luc to pack a bag for Hailey and myself.”
“Take Demitri with you,” he says. “We need to make sure everything’s taken care of before you can move freely.”
I nod, and my eyes go to Hailey. Her face is turned away from me. “Is there anything you want me to bring, Hailey?”
“Check if Lars made it. They shot him,” she says without looking at me.
Fuck.
“I’ll see what I can find out,” I reply, and pulling the door shut, I go look for Demitri. I don’t have to go far, finding him around the corner where he’s leaning against the wall.
“Alexei says you have to come with me. I need to go to Saint Luc to get clothes for Hailey and myself.”
Demitri nods, knowing Alexei will be safe at St. Monarch’s.
HAILEY
Wanting to know where I am, I ask, “What is this place?”
“Neutral ground,” Alexei answers. “The phone number Carson programmed into your phone is for here. No killing is permitted on the grounds.”
I almost let out a bark of incredulous laughter. “Is it a safe house?” I feel stupid for asking the question like I’m in some movie.
“Of sorts.” Alexei lifts his legs and rests his feet on the side of the bed. He looks relaxed as he tilts his head at me. “Do you really want to know? Information isn’t always a good thing.”
“Tell me everything.” I need to know.
“St. Monarch’s offers every service we might need. Training. Safety. Auctioning goods and services to the highest bidder. Medical care. Arranging contracts anonymously.”
“By ‘we,’ you mean?”
“Syndicates,” he answers.
Criminals.
Oh, God.
Fear shudders through me, knowing I’m surrounded by the worst of this world.