Nothing is the same as before Hailey walked into my life, and I get a feeling it will never be the same again.
Suddenly Hailey glances over her right shoulder, and I dart to the left. I crouch behind the fence of the elderly lady who works at the bakery.
Fuck, that was close.
I wait until Hailey is out of sight, and knowing she’ll be at work until midnight, I walk back to my house.
You can’t do that again.
Even as I chastise myself, I know I’m not going to listen.
There’s no harm in watching her.
At least give yourself that.
Just watch her.
Just watch her?
I shake my head at myself as I follow the bus Hailey’s on at a safe distance with my SUV.
My phone begins to ring, and seeing Alexei’s name flashing on the screen, I mutter a curse. I press the answering button on the steering wheel.
“Sorry I missed you,” my bother’s voice comes over the speakers.
“Work is work,” I say. “You’re okay?”
He lets out a chuckle. “Of course.” There’s a moment’s pause, then he says, “I’ll come to you. Next week?”
Shit.
I can’t say no, and I really want to see him. It’s been too long.
“Okay.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“I can feel it, Carson.” Alexei’s voice darkens. “Did something happen I should know about?”
“No.” Wanting to set him at ease, so he won’t worry, I add, “I had a close-up contract. You know I hate those.”
“Who?”
“Rudaj.”
“Were you compromised?”
I take a deep breath as the bus turns into the town of Bern. “Yes.”
“Fuck, Carson. When? Tell me everything?”
I relay the fucked up contract sans anything Hailey related to my brother. I can feel his anger growing with every word leaving my mouth.
When I’m done talking, Alexei snaps, “I’ll be there tomorrow.”
“I took care of everything,” I try to assure him.
“Carson.” His voice is cold with warning.
Knowing I can’t stop him, I mutter, “What time tomorrow?”
“I’ll let you know.”
We end the call, and letting out a sigh, I find a parking space so I can follow Hailey on foot. I wait for her to get off the bus, and only when she’s a safe distance away do I get out of the SUV.
There are many tourists on the streets, making it easy to follow Hailey without her noticing me.
I’ve lived in Switzerland for nine years, but it’s the first time I actually see the beauty the country has to offer. All through Hailey’s eyes.
Strolling along the cobbled streets of the medieval old town, I savor every smile gracing Hailey’s face. She stares at everything with absolute wonder.
She looked at me like that.
From the tallest cathedral to the Zytglogge clock tower, I follow her to the Aare river. Hailey stops on a bridge and stares down at the water.
Time slowly fades away, my eyes glued to the woman who’s upended my life and left it in chaos.
Still… I’ve never felt more at peace, even with the looming threat of Alexei arriving tomorrow.
HAILEY
I’m starting to think I’m imagining things. It seriously feels as if someone’s watching me.
I glance around the bridge, my eyes darting from one person to the next, but I don’t find anyone watching me.
You’re being silly.
My stomach grumbles, and it has me heading in the direction of a store I saw earlier. Tomorrow morning, I’ll visit the market and treat myself to something nice, but I settle on buying fruits for now. I get myself an apple and banana and a bottle of water, then walk to a bench facing the river.
Sitting down, I peel the banana, and as I take a bite, the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Chewing, I glance around.
You’re going to drive yourself insane.
I focus on the gorgeous blue of the water until the worry ebbs away, and then my thoughts fill with Carson.
I wonder if he got the flowers. I wonder what he thought when he saw them.
Last night I asked Lars if Carson’s been at the bar during the day, and he said no.
Maybe he’s just gone on business.
Maybe it was just goodbye for now and not forever.
Why can’t you stop thinking of him?
I miss Carson.
I miss the quiet way he looked at me. As if it was just enough for him to see me.
I miss the opportunities we didn’t have.
A kiss.
Lying awake all night while I talk, and he listens.
Experiencing what it would be like to make love to him.
God, I miss him.
More than I miss my parents and I haven’t seen them in months.
How did I fall so fast? Why didn’t I stop it?
With the apple and water forgotten on my lap, the sun sets while my thoughts keep spinning around Carson.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I open the screen and go to my list of contacts. I stare at the number under ICE, and before I do something stupid and call it, I scroll down and click on my mom’s number.