I fucking hope.
Chapter Forty-Two
Alyssa
The days have passed so quick, I selfishly wish time would stand still.
I feel closer to Luca. Over the last couple days, he’s been attentive, showing me a side of him I didn’t know existed.
He brings something out in me. Like he’s the sunrise, I awaken in his glow.
My dress is fastened, hair neatly placed, flowers weaved through it. Slipping into my shoes, I walk through the house in a haze.
Static energy hums through me. The racing of my overbeating heart forces the blood to rush to my head. It’s floating, trying to flee. My neck acts as a balloon string, tethering it to my body.
Is it supposed to feel this way, soul changing?
Maintaining an even breath, I attempt to fade out the people all staring at me, curiosity alight within their eyes. I focus on the man at the end of the aisle.
His tense jaw and penetrative gaze sends a rush of fear and delight flooding through my nervous system. My hands tremble, making my small bouquet quake in my hold.
Just breathe, I will myself.
Everything appears out of focus, like I’m looking at my life through a blurred lens.
Just a couple more steps.
The pounding of my heart becomes louder with each step I take closer to him—the man I promised so much to for what feels like too little now. Did I get anything in writing?
Thud, Thud. Thud.
His fiery blue eyes narrow on me in warning, saying don’t fucking run. If I bolt now, would he chase me down?
Yes, run…
They say before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. This feels like death. I see everything I’ve done up to this point, but nothing beyond it.
I thought I understood what it meant when I agreed to this, but now, it’s not about gaining material things.
I love him.
The realization almost buckles me, hitting me with the force of a freight train.
I love him.
My knees lock as I reach him, and he offers his hand for me to take. Without it, I think I may trip. My legs don’t feel like my own. They’re stuffed with Jell-O.
My feet are crammed into six hundred-dollar stilettos. The white gown I’m wearing clings to my curves, suffocating me beneath it. The lace around my neck is a noose.
Am I making a mistake? It was different before when it was just an arrangement, but now, knowing my heart is invested…
This is it. I turn to face him, the sound of my blood gushing in my ears like the sea’s tide crashing against the shoreline.
The world fades away as he stares at me, those incredible blue eyes with flecks of darker shades alert and blazing as they consume me.
With just a look, he renders me weak. I’m not sure if I flourish under his gaze or wane, but I crave that look from him, a flower seeking the sun.
His large palm extends out to cup my cheek, stealing what’s left of my erratic breath. Heat spreads up my spine, blooming over my neck as he leans toward me.
His breath warms over my ear, causing a fresh wave of goosebumps to prickle my skin.
His words send a whirl of nervous butterflies to take flight within me. “This is your last chance to flee, my beautiful dancer. Once you say, ‘I do’—you’re mine. There’s no going back.”
Thud. Thud. Thud.
This is it…
My stomach churns. I look back up the aisle, then to him, knowing the words coming to my lips.
I do.
The house has been full of people all day and night, all of them wanting time with Luca and I.
The white dress adds to my fraudulent appearance. This feels like I’m living outside my body. Should I not tell him the game has changed—that my feelings are warping, growing?
My eyes track the room, looking for Luca. He’s cornered by a woman, talking a mile a minute.
“That is my mother. Prepare to be inundated with lunch date offers. She always wanted a daughter to spoil.” Marcello grins, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
“You look like a deer in the headlights.” He chuckles, handing me his glass of amber liquid.
“Here. Drink this.”
“I don’t know anyone here. It makes me feel out of place, like I don’t belong here.” I exhale, tipping back the burning amber.
Squeezing my shoulder, he releases me. “It’s a tough room, but you do belong, Alyssa. I’ve never met a woman like you before or seen Luca come alive the way he does in your presence.”
The words make my chest bloom, the swirling of affection clenching my stomach. “I fear I don’t know much about his world, only that it’s dangerous.” The liquid fire warms in my stomach.
“It is,” he agrees, looking around the room. “But you’re safe with us—you’re one of us, now and always. That’s what it meant when you married him today.”