I stop all work on my baklava for a moment.
“Yeah, but a lot of the guys from our past were super-weird too. What about Joey Schwertfaeger? Do you remember him?” I ask with a smile.
Edna grimaces.
“Ugh, unfortunately! What a tool,” she exclaims passionately as she whips her soufflé batter. “OMG, I’ll never get over that day when he asked me to drop him off at Mike Barrio’s party. I pulled up out front and he looked me dead in the eye and told me he got chlamydia from Rachel Barker and that I should get tested asap because he had sex with her before me. And then he got out of the car and literally ran away before I could even say anything!” she huffs, still outraged.
“I remember,” I say. “I surprised you with that cookie cake when you came home from the clinic, remember? I felt so bad about what happened.”
Edna merely looks at her creation ruefully.
“Yeah, I remember because the cookie said, ‘Congratulations, you don’t have chlamydia.’ I wish I could have seen the baker’s face when you asked for that message.”
“It was priceless,” I giggle. “Besides, Joey was such a jackass. You know he’s a frat boy now?” I share.
Edna pretend-vomits.
“Ugh, they’re the worst. I really dodged a bullet there. He probably has all sorts of STDs, I’m sure.”
“Ew, I know, stop. I’m going to have nightmares.” Then, we both chuckle and go back to our respective dishes. Soon, our lunch is ready and we sit at the dining table, still giggling with mirth.
“So, speaking of guys: how’s Clay?” Edna asks as we happily dig into our meal.
“You wasted no time getting into that topic,” I retort with a chuckle.
“Well, I have no dating life and yours is like super interesting. So dish. How are things going? Is it getting more serious or is it just wild sex?” she asks me with a mischievous grin. I take a giant bite of my soufflé, buying time to think before answering.
“It’s been a few months now, and it’s definitely about more than the sex. Don’t get me wrong: we’re in bed constantly and it’s amazing, but we also have romantic evenings out and chill evenings in. We talk a lot, watch TV, and do things together.”
Edna nods.
“OMG, that sounds perfect. But are you guys still going to that sex club? You know, the scary one you told me about?”
I nod, blushing.
“Yeah, and it’s still a little intimidating, to be honest. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to last there.”
Ed shoots me a puzzled look.
“Why?”
I sigh. “Because I’m just not like that! I mean, I love being with Clay, and you know that we’re doing it in front of other people sometimes,” I say, blushing. Edna nods. “But some of that stuff is so weird and freaky. I mean, I feel like I should call 9-1-1 sometimes.”
Edna’s eyes go wide.
“Seriously?”
I nod.
“Yeah, it can get super intense, but Clay tells me that the sub wants it, and if she’s not comfortable, then she’ll use her safe word. Otherwise, you don’t interfere.”
Edna nods again.
“But you’re not okay with it?”
I shrug helplessly.
“I am, but I just can’t do some of that myself. It’s too out there.”
Edna nods again.
“Well, how does Clay feel about your limits? I mean, does he push you to get all weird and freaky-like?”
I think for a moment.
“He’s respectful, actually. He knows that I’m new to this, and that I won’t cross certain boundaries. Actually, he’s not into some of that stuff either, but I just don’t want him to feel like I’m not enough. Even worse, I don’t want him to get bored.”
Edna nods.
“I understand that. But maybe you could expand your horizons. I mean, it sounds like your man is open to taking it slow, and maybe once you take that first dip, you’ll enjoy it. And honestly Kitty, I think if you try it out, you might discover some surprising things about yourself,” she says, cocking her head to one side.
I flush because the truth is that Clay and I have been experimenting with some new toys, and it’s been wonderful. My rear end aches still from the enormous plug he put in me last week, but it felt so good when he began twisting it deeper, and then doing me double the way I’ve come to prefer.
“But what if I don’t become more experimental?” I ask hesitantly. “Won’t that be the end of my relationship with Clay?”
Edna shrugs.
“Maybe. Maybe not. But it sounds like you’re on the right track. Give your man the benefit of the doubt and let loose a little,” she urges. “He hasn’t led you astray yet.”
I take a moment to think, and then nod.
“I hate it when you’re right,” I tease.
“You know I’m right,” she says with finality. “By the way, this soda bread is delicious.” But then my friend’s eyes go round when she sees my face. “Kitty, are you okay?” she asks, jolting forward. “OMG, do you need water?”