“I’ll text,” he said. “Every day. And you text, too, so I know you and Father are well.”
“But—”
“Just for a while, Mom.”
“Will you at least be home for Christmas?”
L.G. was still biting himself, as if he had an itch or something. “I don’t think so. Not this year.”
Her silence tore at him.
“But we can Skype on Christmas Day.”
“Are you happy, son?”
A picture of Dana sprang to mind, laughing as he beat her at cribbage. Holding L.G. against breasts that were surprisingly full and nice, considering how thin the woman was.
“Joshua? Your father tells me you’re still taking your inheritance draw every month, and I’m glad for that.”
He’d told his parents about putting his trust in Michelle’s name for the duration of her life. But he hadn’t told them that his current inheritance income was also going into the trust.
“I’m...adjusting,” he said. “I’m doing the right thing. And will be better for it,” he told her. His parents thought leaving Boston, his family and all of his friends was the extent of his sacrifice.
There’d been no point in telling them the rest.
“But you’ll be coming home? Eventually? Your father can’t work forever. He needs you here, ready to take over....”
The rope tightened around his throat. He couldn’t listen anymore.
She was right. He had a duty. But he was right, too.
And was it so bad if Redmond Enterprises, a conglomeration of holdings that spanned the globe, liquidated at some point in the future? Was a legacy worth his soul?
Or was this just more selfishness on his part? Was his sudden interest in being a better person sincere or was he just running away from that which was most unpleasant to him?
The gossip. The whispers.
“I need some time, Mother. We’ve already been through this.”
He couldn’t make any promises for the future. Not until he figured out if he could trust himself not to live life as a selfish bastard.
It hadn’t just been Michelle he’d callously hurt. Michelle’s sister had told him, during those long hours at the hospital, about the other women he’d hurt. The hearts he’d broken. He’d called those women.
Her sister had been right.
“Tell me about the family, Josh. What are they like? Do you—”
“They’re good folks and you promised we wouldn’t do this, Mother. For now, this is my life.”
“I’d hoped your relatives there would help you see that you’re a great man, just as you are. I’d hoped you’d see yourself through their eyes and realize that gossip is gossip and it fades away. What happened to Michelle was a horrible accident—tragic—but not your fault. You would never have left her if you’d had any idea she’d had so much to drink—”
“You had a craniotomy and I didn’t bother to come home,” he interrupted her. “Should I tell the Shelter Valley Montfords about that?”
“The surgery wasn’t dangerous, Joshua. A simple nerve procedure outside the brain. I was in the hospital two nights and then home and back to my normal routine.”
He’d been told the procedure wasn’t dangerous and, too busy living it up in the French Riviera, hadn’t even asked what it was for. He’d barely remembered that she’d had it until they’d been sitting with Michelle’s parents in the hospital and one of Michelle’s neurologists happened to be the same doctor who’d performed his mother’s surgery.
“He drilled a quarter-size hole in your skull and I didn’t even know.”
“I was asleep. Didn’t feel a thing. Really, you’re making far more of this than necessary. You would’ve been there if I needed you.”
He’d like to believe it, but he wasn’t sure. He probably wouldn’t have bothered cooling his heels at a hospital all day, not back then. The world had been full of things to do and he’d wanted to do all of them.
“What about when Grandfather Montford had his heart attack?”
“There was nothing you could do. Only your grandmother and I were allowed in to see him. And you were in the middle of your first trip to Italy.”
He’d been twenty-one. A college graduate.
“Father asked me to reconsider my position on that one,” he reminded her softly. His father’s way of telling him to come home. His mother had needed him.
“You just aren’t good with medical situations, Joshua. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Had his mother been doing this his entire life? Making excuses for him?
“I went mountain climbing instead of spending Christmas with our family and Michelle.”