“But not utter silence, Matilda. Dogs bark, our children will cry, and my wife has the most beautiful voice. I missed hearing you while I was away.” He lifted her face to his as she sniffed back tears. “Darling, what is wrong? Don’t ever hide your feelings from me.”
“I’m sorry.”
He took in her distress and pressed his head to hers. “Matilda, do you have any idea how much I love you? I would do anything to make you happy.”
Her eyes darted to his, wide and full of surprise. “You love me?”
“Of course I do.” Her lips parted and drew back in shock. “How can you not know that you’ve claimed my heart completely?”
Her eyes widened further, as if she did not trust his claim. “I have?”
He nodded quickly. “I spent the entire time I was in London gushing about my incredible wife to anyone who would listen. Cobb left dinner at Whites Club in a sulk, and Mitchell is probably still laughing at my impatience to return to you. I told Miss Chudleigh that you might be setting up our nursery because one day, eventually, I hope we are blessed with children.”
“Oh,” she whispered.
“I’ve loved you for so long and never could put my feelings into words.” He peered deep into her eyes, trying to show the depths of his devotion. “I wanted you, a servant in my home, when I should have known better. I exposed you to my desires without warning you that I’m not like other men. I wanted you so badly at times that I was jealous whenever you smiled at others.”
“I wanted you too.”
“No, you didn’t. Not in the beginning.” He held her face, brushing his thumb across her cheek. “I wanted so much to stay away from you once and I made that ridiculous bargain, intending to keep you safe. I tried to convince myself I could keep you at a distance and let you go later. But leaving you alone is impossible for me. I want you to be my wife, Matilda.”
Her lashes fluttered, and then she smiled so warmly she lit up the room with her happiness. “I am already your wife, William.”
“You are my best friend. The one person I can share my hopes and dreams with. You drive away my nightmares with your touch; you share my enjoyment of passion without ever making me feel I am wrong.”
“What we do could never be wrong.”
He kissed her cheek, pushed the dog aside, and held her there on the floor. “You got under my skin from the moment we met. But because I had blundered so badly I had to start all over again.” He brought her hand to his mouth and caressed her knuckles with his lips. “I am not an easy man to live with, but you found it in your heart to bear with me.”
“I cannot imagine ever being afraid of you again.”
At a sound behind them, he caught her elbow and helped her stand. “Dawson, come and take the dog outside for a short walk. Teach him how to fetch a stick or something.”
“Yes, Captain.” Dawson rushed in, snatched up the dog, and hurried away.
“That will teach him for listening into our private conversations again. We need to get him a woman of his own to worry over.”
Matilda laughed. “It is too early to be sure, but that matter might be solved soon if all goes well. I have detected a flicker of mutual interest between our new housekeeper and butler.”
“Good.” He steered her toward the steps that led upstairs to their bedroom. “Forgive my haste. It’s been a very lonely week.”
“I missed you too.” She leaned against him with a deep sigh. “But when will you tell me all your secrets?”
“Soon.” He brought his hand down on her rear hard. Muted by her gown, it wasn’t at all a satisfying slap for either of them. Once on the upper level, he caught her hips and directed her toward their bedchamber at speed. He’d show her the depths of his desire one day, but not when he was desperate to be inside her.
She glanced at him shyly. “You love me?”
“Now and forever.”
Epilogue
Christmas, 1815
Newberry Park
Matilda was overwhelmed. Too much food. Too much laughter. Too much acceptance.
A thing she’d never expected when she’d agreed to marry William.