His accusations stung. She loved many in Brighton, but she had accepted she was not equipped to show it long ago.
She dropped her gaze, thoroughly ashamed of her behavior with Walter. She was exactly the tease to him that Linus Radley had accused her of being.
“I’m sure you are in the right of it. Excuse me.” Melanie hurried from the room, running upstairs, away from everyone. She was always a lady, and should never allow anyone to ruffle her feathers, but she couldn’t bear Walter’s disappointment. He had stripped her of her composure entirely and made her see how he viewed her too.
Her eyes filled with tears as she heard him take his leave abruptly. She had for a brief moment lost what little good sense she possessed but there was no escaping her mistakes. She was not good. Not even Walter believed that of her anymore.
When Julia came to her door a few minutes later, Melanie refused to let her in. She was better off alone. She deserved to be lonely. Telling herself that didn’t take away the pain of Walter’s anger, though.
Nine
As much as Melanie longed to remain apart from the household, incessant tapping at her door could not be ignored. Julia had left her largely to her own devices for the past several days, but it appeared her peace was at an end. “Come in, Julia.”
The door opened slowly and her sister-in-law smiled at her as if she was wounded. She wasn’t—she was broken. Utterly and completely. She didn’t know where she’d find the strength to face Walter again.
“I thought you might like some company and perhaps tea,” Julia suggested.
She couldn’t say no without appearing rude. “Thank you. That would be lovely.”
The maid they shared set a tray of tea and biscuits on her dresser and smiled shyly. “Your favorites.”
“Thank you, Amy.”
“Shall I pour for you both, miss?”
There were two cups on the tray, hinting that Julia intended to remain. “I’m sure we can manage.”
The maid glanced around. “I’ll just straighten your room a bit.”
The room didn’t need anything done to it. Melanie had spent the better part of three days here, minding her own business, avoiding her brother and accidental meetings with Walter George. She had straightened everything, even polished a table, but it hadn’t made her feel different. She was tired, and she just wanted to be left alone. “There’s nothing to be done here. That will be all, Miss Pond, if you don’t mind.”
The maid appeared crestfallen but then smiled. “Of course. If you need anything, please call for me.”
“I will.”
Julia closed the door behind the maid with a sigh. “She’s worried about you.”
“She shouldn’t.” Melanie crossed the room, poured tea for her sister and passed the cup and a biscuit to her. “Her duty is to you.”
Melanie left her cup untouched. “Did you and Valentine enjoy the ball last night?”
“How do you do that? Pretend to feel one thing when you’re obviously still upset? You’ve been hiding in here all week, and don’t spout that nonsense again about having a headache.”
“I am not upset.” She picked up her cup and sipped, hoping Julia did not notice the faint tremble in her hand. She’d been feeling this way for days, on edge and nervous, ever since Walter had insisted she was selfish. “Where is your husband?”
“I sent him out. He went for a long walk.”
“I see.”
“It’s too cold for swimming and the idleness of inactivity is making him edgy. I never knew he was so much like me before.”
Melanie smiled. “He used to
get into so much trouble at home for rushing through the halls and down the staircases in the mornings. It does him good to be here instead, where he can come and go at will. That reminds me, I have a letter to finish writing to our parents.”
She moved to her writing table chair, hoping Julia would take the hint and go. Inside the desk was an incomplete letter to her parents. She was supposed to be heaping praise on Julia for being a good wife. For the first time in her life, she couldn’t finish a letter. Julia had surpassed her expectations. However, now that Melanie’s secret was out, that she didn’t wish to be a wife or mother, she no longer knew what to say to anybody, even in a letter.
She didn’t know what to do with herself either, and that was unusual. She should focus on her duty to her family, so she wrenched her mind back to her brother’s interests. “At least Valentine’s swimming hasn’t ever been a bone of contention with the older set. That has always worried me.”