Before he rounded the corner for the staircase, Meredith spun about and returned to the nursery. She couldn’t think of Grayling as a lover anymore. She had a job to do and the children needed her. Meredith had a chance to be something other than a disposable woman, used for a while and discarded without being thought of again. She wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of mending three broken hearts, least of all a man who was desperately in love with his dead wife.
The battle wasn’t worth it. Not even for the best sex she’d ever had.
CHAPTER 16
CONSTANTINE STEPPED FROM the main doors of Stanton Harold Hall and pulled his coat tighter about him as a sudden blast of icy cold wind hit his body full force. It had been a miserable few days and he’d come outside to see what fool dared to travel in such ghastly weather. He gaped at the crest gleaming through the mud-splattered carriage sides. “What the devil brings you to Wiltshire on such a dreadful day, Rothwell?”
His oldest friend emerged from his vehicle and grimaced up at the sky. “I’m here to see if you still live. Why the devil were you not at the wedding? I would not care to be in your shoes. Your sisters are rather put out with you.”
He grinned and strode down the steps quickly. “As am I with them for marrying so far beneath them.”
They shook hands amiably, but Rothwell’s eyes narrowed. “You’ve never even met their new husbands. Everyone knows you disapprove. But given one is the boy’s heir, and wealthy, their marriage will be accepted in due time. Too late now they’ve tied the knot. It’s official and been witnessed by quite a few of our mutual friends so all of London will know the details of the matches already.”
“Well, if that’s the case, I’ll meet the upstarts at my leisure.”
Rothwell appeared ready to argue, but Constantine held up his hands to hold him off. “Come inside where it’s warm and have a drink. You’ll stay, of course?”
He gestured to the front door and was very quick to lead Rothwell into the warmth of his study. The room was comfortable and he had a good supply of brandy on hand.
“Unfortunately, I cannot. I’m needed back in London tomorrow for a meeting but I could not pass through without checking on your welfare.” Rothwell’s gaze grew sharp. “How have you all been? Well, I trust?”
“We are all very well.” Constantine grinned. The past weeks had done much to mend three very small hearts. Employing Miss Clark had been the best decision he’d ever made. “You’ll find the girls much the same as before.”
“Still too quiet?” Rothwell asked.
“Actually, no. I have had the good fortune of securing a new governess, and she has worked miracles in lightening the girl’s spirits. It’s a rare day now that I do not hear them laugh as they used to. They are almost as they were before Augusta passed.”
Rothwell squinted at him. “Seems you’ve had a change of heart too. You’ve not spoken of your wife so easily since her death.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I lost, but it is time to move ahead.”
In the weeks since Miss Clark had come, he had taken stock of his situation. He was still young. Everyone had told him that Augusta would not want him to mourn her forever. He should not feel guilty for laughing or enjoying life without her. He should remember the past was not all there was to life. There were endless possibilities for happiness, yet each included Meredith Clark.
Rothwell clapped him on the shoulder. “Excellent. I shall expect you in London for the season. It’ll be like old times. We’ll drink, dance, and do the pretty for the ladies. Who knows, perhaps you can find another diamond among the lumps of coal crowding the ballrooms.”
Constantine laughed along with Rothwell at the picture he painted, but his heart did not leap with excitement. Sifting through the ton in search of a wife or even a lover held little appeal. The woman he wanted was already under his roof. “I don’t intend to rush toward matrimony.”
Rothwell grinned. “Who said anything about marriage? Many diamonds have a chance to shine by moonlight without a ring upon her finger.”
Unfortunately, Constantine was rather taken by a garnet-loving minx in spinster’s clothing. The last weeks had been a struggle, but he’d managed to keep his word. He’d barely touched Miss Clark, just the occasional fleeting caress to her jaw when no one was looking. What surprised him was how that small caress was almost enough to satisfy him. He could look whenever he wanted. He could touch, although fleetingly.
He poured Rothwell a drink and they toasted. “To the future.”
“And the past.” Rothwell settled himself in a chair. “I had a chance to speak with your new brothers-in-law. The elder is quite a serious man, rather well traveled too. The younger is a far different kettle of fish. I have a feeling Blythe keeps him on a tight leash. They were rarely apart during the party.”
Constantine snorted. “I knew she’d made a mistake.”
Rothwell leaned forward. “Not a mistake. I’ve never seen Blythe smile so much and I’ve known her since she first learned how to turn up her nose at me. This man could be the best thing for her if he can make her happy. However, when she’s not around he curses like a Barbary pirate.”
“I imagine that is because he was as close to one as it is possible to be. I’ve been supplied with all the disreputable facts of his past, so I will not be surprised by any gossip. But I must say he is exactly the opposite sort of what I’d hoped for her second husband.”
“Sometimes we do not get what we want. Only what we need.”
Constantine studied his friend. “Since when have you been a philosopher?”
Rothwell laughed. “I had the opportunity to spend some time with the middle brother, Oliver Randall. He thrust a book at me rather than continue our conversation. Some of what I read must have rubbed off.”
“Well, Blythe must live with her choices, as must Mercy. I give them a year before they regret their decisions.”