Oh dear. This call wasn’t at all good. Had Gray lied about his wife being dead? She eased back another step. “I was led to believe she passed away.”
“Forgive me. That is true. She died two years ago, yet I find it hard to believe she is gone and I misspoke. The late Lady Grayling,” she clarified. “It was my servant who acquired your location on my behalf. Quite the chore I must tell you, buried as we are in the country.”
Her pulse raced that a lady’s groom could find her so easily. She licked her lips and then cursed the obviously nervous gesture. “There is much to recommend in a country setting,” she choked out.
“Grayling prefers the country for many reasons.” The lady nodded. “He has always blamed himself for Augusta’s death. Up until very recently, I despaired of him ever getting over her loss.”
“Oh.”
The other lady’s eyes grew shrewd. “Did he mention how Augusta died? In childbirth. Augusta was determined to give him a son. She had a daughter instead but never recovered after the birth. Her death was a shock to all of us.”
Meredith licked her lips. “I’m sorry for your loss, but I don’t understand why you came to seek me.”
“I came to ensure you continued your association with Gray. Aside from the past few days, he’s been rather happy. Augusta would never have wanted him to mope endlessly.”
Meredith rubbed her hands together to warm her chilled fingers. “Grayling has wisely, in my opinion, ended our association. He has a difficulty with my profession.”
The beauty’s eyes sparkled. “Most decent men would. Do you humor him with your passion? Do you lie to him when you are intimate?”
Meredith had lied to Grayling every moment they had been together, but not about the most important things. When they were intimate, he honestly aroused all her senses with his touch. She’d never lied about that. “No. He is a rather exceptional lover.”
Color crept into her visitor’s face. Cheeks pinked and her eyes grew round. “Then why did you not jump at the chance to become his mistress? He would have done everything in his power to give you a life of comfort.”
Meredith gaped. If a proper lady failed to understand her reasons, then perhaps Meredith was more damaged than she’d suspected. There were very good reasons for keeping her independence and avoiding permanent ties. “Because he would have come to believe he owned me. Grayling is a man who believes he can have everything he wants.”
“What is the difficulty in that? He wants you.”
“Yes.”
The lady strolled away a few steps and then turned back. “And no other since he met you, correct? And you’ve not been with another man, either, or so I’m led to believe.”
Meredith nodded, rather puzzled at why such a lady had concerned herself with the intimate details of her exclusive arrangement with Grayling. Surely Grayling wouldn’t confide in a woman of his own rank. The situation was hardly any of her business. “Not that I know of. Forgive me for demanding an introduction, but who are you?”
The lady rubbed her brow. “Pardon me for being dense this morning; my decision to come here has given me a sleepless night. My name is Lady Farnsworth, Arabella to my close friends.”
“The paragon? Do you have no care for your reputation? Once lost, it is irretrievable, believe me. What on earth possessed you to come here?”
The lady made a face. “Struggling with two stubborn souls. Listen to me. If you are both so smitten with the other, why not indulge your senses in each other’s arms? You make him happy. That is not a feat to belittle.”
Arguing with Grayling’s good friend was not something she’d ever dreamed she’d do. She’d never imagined meeting anyone from his life. “I do not wish to be a kept woman. I’ve always earned my way in the world.”
“You would have that and more.”
“But I would not be free. An arrangement such as he wants would have expectations placed upon me. If I wanted to end it quickly, there would be difficulties.”
“He would argue.”
So the lady did know Grayling. He could be very stubborn. “Undoubtedly.”
The lady paced a few moments. “Are you very determined to remain here in this profession?”
Meredith shrugged. “It suits my experience.”
“Have you no other skills to call upon? A talent for the pianoforte, a fine singing voice?”
Meredith grudgingly admired the woman’s misplaced determination. “I can see why you and Grayling are friends. He, too, hoped to tempt me into another profession. I told him no. I’ve fallen much too far to be governess to his daughters.”
The lady gaped. “He asked you that?”