Father put his arm about her again. “Yes, Jeremy has a past that we may never talk about or know completely. But as I understand it, he had no choice. He stole out of necessity until he found a better way to live. He changed for you. Improved himself to be worthy of standing in the same room as you.”
Fanny gulped. “I don’t know…”
But the words got stuck in her throat, and she couldn’t finish. He had changed a lot. Agreed to everything she’d asked of him.
She had offered him money, compensation for sleeping with her, he’d said. It was a lot of money for someone like him to have turned down. Might he have made love to her without strings attached forever?
“There’s only one way to find out if you could have a good life together,” Father whispered.
“What do we even have in common?”
“A love of the theater. An appreciation of the outdoors. Vivid imaginations. Jeremy suggested a theater could be constructed in the woods for my next house party. I find I’m quite keen on the idea of putting on a play one year.”
Fanny hadn’t intended her arrangement with Jeremy to end badly, and it had gone in a direction she had feared. But it was over. Jeremy had said they were done in no uncertain terms, and she believed him. He had barely been able to look at her just now.
But as for the other of Father’s suggestions, Fanny had never been looking for someone to love. Not Jeremy. Not a second time. Not after the pain of losing Rivers long before she was ready to be alone.
Jeremy was a young man in his prime, with no future but the one she’d thrust him toward. He had come to her bed, a somewhat reluctant lover in the beginning. He had expected her to grow bored with their arrangement at any moment, he’d said.
Except, she hadn’t. And yet the moment their relationship had changed, and he’d interfered in her business dealings in fear for her safety around Wilks, she’d pushed Jeremy away.
But she shouldn’t have. He was more cautious than she was about a great many things. She also enjoyed hearing Jeremy’s views on the world, which were quite different from her experiences. His constant companionship made her feel content—safe—rather than smothered.
She wanted good things for him, and to be by his side to see his future unfold. Not separated by rules and society’s conventions that would have disapproved of the relationship they’d shared.
They could not go back to the way things had been before they’d made love.
But could they go forward…together, if he was willing to trust her again.
In any adventure or investment opportunity, there was no way to know for certain how things would turn out. She’d been living from moment to moment for years. Doing exactly as she pleased. But those moments with Jeremy were some of the best of her recent years. She wanted more with him.
Father nudged her. “Fanny?”
“Yes, Father.”
“He’s a good man. He won’t spend your fortune unwisely. I’d be surprised if he spent any, actually. And I’m prepared to sing his praises to society if need be, if he makes you happy,” Father whispered.
Fanny bit her lip, considering her father’s words. If Father was not difficult about Jeremy, her siblings might not be, either. Society would certainly talk for a good long while about such an unequal match. But then the novelty would wear off. No one would care in five or ten years what Jeremy’s life might have been before they met.
But Fanny now had the chore of figuring out the state of her heart. No matter what Father said in favor of any match, Fanny would not be rushed to the altar a second time, or into any courtship either.
And even before any future of that sort could happen, Jeremy would have to forgive her and she’d have to convince him somehow that money was not all that mattered to her. He needed to know that he mattered more.
Chapter 16
“Have you heard the news that Laughton repaired his fortunes on the ’change? He’ll probably have his pick of next year’s beauties on the marriage mart,” Samuel said, riding along beside Jeremy with a loose-limbed confidence Jeremy utterly lacked.
Jeremy had no time to question how anyone made money on the bloody ’change. He was too busy clinging to the horse rolling about alarmingly under him.
“I wish him good hunting,” Milo murmured sounding utterly bored of the topic already. Milo was on Jeremy’s other side, riding one-handed with apparent disinterest for his horse’s prancing antics or their destination.
Jeremy was utterly terrified and trying not to show his fear. Both men knew he’d no experience on a horse but had convinced him to come out with them anyway.
“Keep your heels down,” Milo reminded him.
“And don’t hold the reins so tightly,” Samuel added. “You’re on the estate’s oldest plodding horse, and she’ll go where we direct our horses and nowhere else.”