Ordinarily she wouldn’t confide her past conquests to anyone. However, she had a part to play and becoming comfortable with each other would help their performances. She was a smitten lady from today. Walking along with a handsome man she admired. Tongues were meant to wag enough when they were seen together so that her real would-be suitors would think twice before interrupting.
Jeremy shook his head. “My first was with a whore.”
Fanny winced. First kiss or sexual encounter? He didn’t clarify further, and Fanny wouldn’t ask. She suspected they might very well be the same for a man of his background. But she felt bad for him. He did not sound as if his first kiss was as happy a memory as hers had always been.
“I knew you’d be repulsed.”
She lay a hand on his arm. They were very different, but she would not let that taint her opinion of him. “Mr. Dawes, I do not intend for one moment to criticize you, but I regret the encounter for the obvious lack of affection in your voice when you spoke of the experience.” She studied him a moment and then, since they were alone, stretched up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek.
He smiled shyly. “That wasn’t bad, but I think you could do better.”
“Oh,” Fanny complained as she swatted him with her hand. “Are you going to now coach me on kissing, too?”
“Kissing in front of an audience is different than real kissing,” he informed her. He drew close, catching hold of her hand, holding it against his chest. His face lowered until he was an inch away from her lips. He stopped there, his brown eyes warming her all over. “It’s more convincing if the kiss could happen but doesn’t.”
She looked up into his eyes, waiting to be kissed, and when his gaze flickered to her lips, she almost couldn’t breathe for the anticipation curling through her. “Jeremy.”
“Fanny, darling,” he said with a sigh, but suddenly took a pace back and let go her hand. “Like that.”
The disappointment Fanny felt was unbelievable. She’d imagined he’d kiss her, but it was all an act. The spell was broken. The scene over.
Fanny took a swipe at his arm again for leading her on but then laughed along with him. It was just a game. “You are horribly believable.”
“If only the company could see me now. I’d be guaranteed a leading role with you playing opposite.” Jeremy put his hands behind his back. “There’s something of a long walk still to go, isn’t there?”
Fanny put her hand to her belly, realizing her stomach was still doing little flips of disappointment over that pretend almost-kiss. “Yes, and we should be going so we might return in time for luncheon with everyone. I’ll introduce you to everyone then.”
They moved off again, and Fanny struggled to find a new topic to talk about, other than return to discussing their past amours and their current play.
Mr. Dawes gallantly held her hand when they encountered tree roots that had made the footpath uneven. He helped her cross and then let her go. “When did you meet Lord Rivers?”
“A few years after my first kiss. He was much better than the scoundrel and had much to teach me about passion.”
Jeremy laughed softly. “I’m beginning to suspect he’d little to teach you about passion but the mechanics of coupling.”
How right he was. By the time Fanny had married, she’d devoured every salacious word written about intimacy and gossiped with friends, married or not, about their romantic encounters. She had been well prepared for taking a husband the first time. She might look and sound like a proper lady, but her mind was decidedly wicked. “Mr. Dawes, there is another delicate discussion we must have before you are introduced to the wedding guests.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, and it is a little uncomfortable discussion to have, I’m afraid. Should you encounter a lady you fancy, do tell me, and be discreet if you arrange a private meeting with them.”
His eyes had widened as she’d spoken, and she charged on.
“Gentlemen and women of the ton have a tendency to hop beds at house parties, and while not discouraged, it can have dire consequences. Married ladies possess a degree of boredom with their husbands, many think the rules no longer apply once they’ve fulfilled their duty of delivering a healthy heir and spare. All handsome gentlemen, wealthy or not, married or not, are generally considered fair game. I wouldn’t want you to find yourself involved in a scandal, unaware of the danger or consequences.”
He nodded. “Do you mean the consequences of being cited in divorce proceedings?”
“I was more worried about you having to meet a husband at dawn for a duel of honor,” she whispered.
He laughed. “I hadn’t planned to kiss any married women. Or any at all.”
A degree of relief and disappointment swept through her. “According to my younger brother, no one ever does until an opportunity presents itself.”
“Your brother, Lord Samuel Westfall?”
“Yes, he is something of a libertine, I am afraid. Half my friends think themselves in love with him.”
“He loves but never offers marriage. Why? Does he keep a mistress?”