Gillian didn’t want to talk. She already knew the worst of it. Hearing him explain that she must leave would only make her cry. She brought her fingers to his mouth to stop his words, and then she replaced her fingers with her lips as he slid her down his body.
There was nothing more to say than this.
She was a fool who’d lost her heart.
Nicolas kissed her back hungrily and carried her toward his bed, seemingly pleased with her impatience. Once on her feet again, he held her so tightly that she was afraid this was his goodbye too. Gillian hated partings, especially the inadequate words spoken that failed to soothe. So, she undid the buttons on her gown instead.
Even though her hands were shaking, she managed four before he aided her. “You’re right, we can talk in the morning.”
In the morning, she’d slip away and do her best to avoid him just to spare herself the pain of being dismissed.
When her gown was pushed down to the floor, and her corset and shift removed, Nicolas pulled his shirt over his head.
She gaped at his perfection, his obvious strength, the sleek lines of his body made her mouth water. He was broad across the chest but wiry muscles graced his shoulders and arms. His stomach was flat and his hips, the only real glimpse of his skin she’d had before, were snuggly contained in a pair of black silk breaches.
“Do I please you?”
Gillian swallowed the lump in her throat. She bowed her head, resting her brow against his hot skin while she grappled with her chaotic emotions. Gillian ran her hands up and down his sides, marveling in the texture of his skin and becoming aroused by his warmth. “Yes.”
“There’s nothing to be ashamed about in wanting to be with me.”
“I am not ashamed.” She was heartbroken. She cared about him. She loved him and Jessica so much. They’d become her family.
She forced the hurt back and looked up into his face. She put her hand behind his head and pulled him down for a deep kiss before he saw too much in her expression to begin asking questions about.
All he wanted was her passion, and he’d have it all for this one last time. Tonight, she would know everything about his body and carry the memory of him forever in her heart.
She caressed the bulge in his trousers each time she drew back between kisses. “I need you.”
Nicolas swept her onto his huge bed and climbed up next to her. He stretched at her side and brushed against her bare skin, making her passions rise in a way her husband never had. She loved him. She loved everything about this wonderful, horrible man.
Gillian curled her arms around his shoulders and buried her face against his skin so he could not see the depths of her pain.
Thankfully, he mistook her urgency for passion and slid down the bed. He was more than ready to make love to her. He buried his face between her legs, impatient and demanding that she be aroused by him, satisfied by his skilled lovemaking.
And she would be. Despite the future they wouldn’t share, she craved his touch still.
She touched his head as he kissed her sex, and then lost herself in pleasure.
It did not take long before he had her poised at
the edge of a release and she came, crying out and then sobbed hard, knowing he’d never kiss her there ever again.
The duke rose above her, loosened his breeches, and shoved them down until he was bare from top to bottom. Then before she could memorize the slight curve of his cock, he wrapped her in his arms and joined with her. They fit together like two peas in a pod.
Every time they had made love before, there had been some awkwardness to overcome—a chair arm, a hard desk, shelving to distract her from what they were doing. She’d never realized how deeply she’d given herself over to Nicolas until he was inside her, sharing his bed, his body wrapped around her without a stitch of clothing between them.
This was love, passion, utter surrender to her own desires. Gillian hugged him close, losing herself in him. She wound her legs around his hips at his urging, her arms tight around his neck as he brought her closer to another release by just being with her like this.
He growled suddenly into her neck and held her tight as he shuddered and moaned her name without warning.
Overwhelmed by the warmth of his seed spilling inside her body, she came, too, smothering her cry into his shoulder, holding back the admission that she loved him.
When they settled, Nicolas rolled onto his back panting, keeping Gillian tight against his side. “I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.”
Gillian bit back a sob.
“We can’t keep sneaking around,” he informed her. “It’s better this way, isn’t it?”