I have this crazy urge to grab him. To… to shake him. And not because I still haven’t kicked my addiction to his touch. I want to ask him what’s his deal, what’s he playing at? He made it perfectly clear that, no matter what existed between us before, he wants me to go back to Jim. But not really, huh? Because, if he really meant it, he wouldn’t be watching me as if everything depended on me admitting that, yes, there really is a “him and me”.
I can’t do this. At least, not right this second.
I shake my head. “This isn’t the time.” No shit. “We’re here to bring a message to the Winter Queen, whoever that is. We need to be focusing on that. Not… not anything else.” I try to put as much meaning into my words as I can. “Especially not the past.”
“The past,” murmurs Rys. “In a place where time flows differently than you expect, what past are you referring to?”
“All of it,” I say firmly.
Rys doesn’t have an answer for that one.
Jim’s gaze slants toward Rys, a frown tugging on his lips. Wonderful. If he didn’t already guess that there was more to my relationship with Rys than I initially let on, Rys’s cryptic comments and my short reply will only make him more suspicious.
And, honestly, I have no one to blame but myself.
Jim’s frown slips into a scowl as the quiet drags on. “You know, you don’t have to protect me, babe. I’ve been doing just fine.”
If only that’s what I was doing. Fate or no fate, whether I was meant to be with Rys or not, that doesn’t change the f
act that all I’ve been doing is covering my own ass. A lie by omission is still a freaking lie, and I’m fucking awful.
“Jim, I know that. It’s just—”
He cuts me off. “I know you’re in some kind of trouble. You already told me that you think you’re stuck here. That’s fine. I’m with you now. We can go somewhere else together. Go visit your friend on our own, maybe see if she knows something about the queen we’re looking for. You don’t have to stay with him.”
Hang on—
Him, I notice. Not them.
Uh-oh.
A sinking suspicion fills my gut; either that, or I’m just looking for an excuse to look away from his earnest expression. Shifting slightly, I dare a glance behind me.
Riley and Nine are notably missing.
Honestly, I don’t blame the mated couple one bit. They probably slipped away to give us some privacy as soon as the subject of the touch came up.
I wish I could do the same.
“She has to stay with me,” Rys tells Jim, dragging my attention back to them. “The Summer King commanded it.”
“The Summer King can kiss my ass,” retorts Jim. I wince. He probably should be more careful cursing Oberon. The king of the Seelie Court might tolerate humans more than most fae, but he’s still a capricious and dangerous fae ruler. “He’s your king. Not mine. Not ours. Right, Hel?”
Oof. Another wince. I might be able to pass “Hel” off as “Elle”, but what if Jim gets worked up enough to forget his promise? My true name is the only thing I have left—the only thing that’s completely mine—and I can’t bear to lose it. Especially since—despite Jim’s assurance that we’ll figure out how to leave together—I know that I’m never leaving Faerie again.
That’s the truth of it. Regardless of what I want or Jim wants or even Rys, the magic in this place has made it so. Between my sacrifice and the way I’m a slave to the faerie fruit, this is my home now—which makes it even more crucial that I don’t let a squabble between these two land me at the mercy of the Summer King.
I shake my head. “I can’t… I can’t do that.”
“You can. I know you can.”
Rys let out a scoffing sound.
Jim glares over at him. “You stay out of this.”
“I tried. I really did. Now I’ve decided that… hmm. I just don’t care to continue trying.”
I blink. What’s that supposed to mean?