He stands up and runs his hands through his hair, and I scramble off of the bed to stand in front of him.
“I—I wanted to tell you! I was going to—”
“Yeah? When?” He turns around to face me, eyes blazing. “You were going to give me an hour’s notice before hopping in your car and waving a big fuck you to everyone?”
The knife in my heart twists. “None of this was supposed to happen! I wasn’t supposed to make friends! I wasn’t supposed to fall in love—”
“So you do love me?” he interrupts, his cool gray eyes set with determinatio
n, holding me prisoner.
“How could I not?” My voice breaks at the end, and it’s taking all that I have to not completely break down.
“Then don’t leave.” He steps closer to me but I back away, as if scared that his proximity will destroy any resolve I have.
“I can’t.” My heart’s shattering into a million pieces.
“Why the hell not?”
“You know why, Aiden. I just told you. People get hurt because of me, people I care about. It’s inevitable. And I can’t afford to risk it, especially not now. My mom had decided a while ago, and now after the mayor, his threats, I have to go. I’ve been too selfish, but it’s time I put you above my own wants. You and everyone else. I can’t risk it, not this time.”
His eyes are laser focused on me, the intensity burning a hole straight to my soul.
“You told me that you contemplated just ending the running and hiding and just giving yourself up to Tony. But you didn’t. You said you were strong. You said that you didn’t take the easy way out. So prove it. Be strong now. Don’t take the easy way out by leaving. Stay here with us, with me.”
I force myself to hold it together, at least until I’m no longer in his presence, even though there’s a hole in my chest where my heart should be and it feels like someone is squeezing my throat.
“I can’t, Aiden. I just can’t. If your dad knows who I am—if it’s that easy to find out, then Tony’ll be a step behind. I can’t risk it. I can’t.”
I turn my back on him and quickly leave the room before the single tear that escaped during my reply turns into full blown sobbing.
21
Tuesday, December 30, is not New Year’s Eve, but that doesn’t stop Erin from throwing a New Year’s Eve party at her house that night. She texted Mason and invited us to her Pre-NYE party, because, according to Erin, “There’s always a reason to get wasted if you look hard enough.” She even gave us the number for a local babysitter to watch Jason and Jackson, because apparently her Pre-NYE party is “fun as fuck” and she forbade us from missing it. Before we even agreed to go, we asked if Vee was going to be there, and Erin told us that Vee had a family event and wouldn’t be able to come.
After thinking about it, we decided it would be cool to go to a party that wouldn’t be crashed by Silvers starting fights, and that Vee wouldn’t be at either. Aiden didn’t want to leave his brothers but the guys convinced him that out of all of us, he needs to have some fun. Plus, it’s not like he’s leaving them on New Year’s Eve, and the babysitter had great references and was apparently a pro at Return of the Zombie Aliens Part Three and a Half, which earned her bonus points with Jason and Jackson.
So that’s where we currently are, at Erin’s massive house right on the beach, with what appears to be her whole school and the entire town’s supply of booze.
“That group of guys has been staring at us for the last twenty minutes. Do you think they’ll come talk to us?” Charlotte asks with a tilt of her head in their direction.
I casually look in the direction she hinted, and there’s a group of four guys staring at us. I guess a couple of them are conventionally good looking, but none of them are Aiden.
“Do you want them to?” I ask.
Charlotte shrugs and looks at her beer. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
I’m not having the greatest time at this party. With everything still unresolved with Aiden and still not having told Mason about our parents, it’s too hard to have fun, and I don’t think Charlotte or Annalisa are either. Charlotte’s still stressed about Chase and Noah, since they’re still not friends, and Annalisa’s conflicted about her brother.
“They better not. Aiden would bite their heads off if they tried getting with you,” Annalisa says to me.
I look down at my drink, my already sad mood worsening.
“Doubt it,” I murmur, but I don’t think either girl hears me over the loud music.
Things are tense between Aiden and me, and the whole house knows it. I get that he’s upset, I really do. It breaks my heart to think about how betrayed he must feel, but I have to stand my ground. He has to see why I really have no choice in the matter, and that I think it’s best to leave rather than stay and put everyone I love in danger—including him, especially him.
“How awesome are Erin’s friends?” Mason stumbles over, already one too many beers in.