“Riiiiight. Nothing complicated about that little tiny decision,” she says sarcastically.
I pat her hand where it’s fallen to my thigh. “You’ll figure it out.”
If my fingers linger just for a moment, we both ignore it. Because we each know that if she gets back together with Lance, these casual, lingering touches will be a thing of the past.
Parker’s chewing on a fingernail on her other hand, staring straight ahead. Her forehead’s all creased, and I know she’s overthinking this.
“Okay, walk me through the conversation,” I say. “Was it just a Sorry, babe, my bad, let’s pretend it didn’t happen?”
She rolls her eyes. “He’s not you. He cares about these things.”
My head snaps back a little, stung, but she’s too lost in thought to notice.
Is that what she thinks of me?
That I’m not capable of caring about people just because I don’t want to be in a committed relationship?
“He just got wrapped up in work and school. Didn’t know how to balance it all,” Parker explains.
I frown, not at all liking the way Lance seems to compartmentalize his life. A guy lucky enough to have Parker as his girlfriend should be all consumed by her. She shouldn’t be a checkbox on his “balanced life” worksheet.
“So what changed?” I ask.
She shakes her hand free of mine, and then leans all the way forward so that she’s staring at the floor. “He realized he needs me. Loves me.”
I swallow. “And you need him? Love him?”
The words feel sour on my tongue, and my body feels tight, like it wants to physically reject the words. And especially wants to reject what her answer will be.
“I think so,” she says quietly.
I ignore the strange splintering feeling inside me. “You think?”
“I don’t know!” she says, exploding off the couch. “I…can we just go back to the beginning of the conversation? I want to choose mute. I need to think, and I can’t think with you chirping in my ear.”
My temper spikes. “Not thirty seconds ago you were begging me for my thoughts on this. It’s not like I’ve been sitting here dying to force my opinion on you.”
“Do you even have an opinion?” she shoots back. “On anything?”
“I’ve got plenty of them,” I say, fully angry now. “But not on this. This has nothing to do with me!”
My outburst hangs between us, and she nods. “Right. You’re right, of course. This has nothing to do with you. I’m sorry, I just…I’m overwhelmed is all.”
“I know,” I say quietly. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. Probably not helpful.”
Her smile is small and sad and she doesn’t meet my eyes.
“Parks?” Instinctively, I know there’s something more. Something she hasn’t said yet.
Something I’m not going to like.
She lifts her eyes to mine, and they’re wide and a little bit scared.
“Lance wants me to move in with him.”
There’s no air in the room. I can’t even breathe.
“What did you tell him?” I manage.