My eyes fill as I remember that moment. It seems strange that it was just the night before, because I feel like I’ve had a lifetime to reflect on it.
I can’t stop thinking about what it felt like to pour my entire heart and soul into the lyrics of that gorgeous, heartbreaking song.
My heart still feels the ripping agony of telling Ben how I felt even if he didn’t know I was telling him.
My heart freezes as a thought strikes me. What if Ben did know?
If Lance caught on, why wouldn’t Ben?
Oh God. What if that’s why he vanished last night?
We all assumed he’d picked up some girl at the bar, and I’d hated that scenario, but I hate this one a lot more. What if Ben figured out what I was trying to tell him, and ran?
Lance stands and walks me to the door.
I pick up the overnight bag I’d left by the front door in anticipation of this precise moment. The moment when I walked away from the guy I once thought I’d marry.
“Bye, Lance.”
He leans forward, kisses my cheek. “Bye, Parker.”
And just like that, it’s over.
It’s over and I’m okay with it.
Well, not okay. Because there’s a huge hole in my chest—a hole that has nothing to do with the guy I’ve just broken up with.
The smart thing to do is to go to my parents’. Or Casey’s or Lori’s.
Or even a hotel.
I need to think things over. To figure out my game plan.
I get in my car and drive to my parents’. I make it all the way to their driveway, but not out of the car.
I put the car in reverse.
Retrace my route back to downtown, but this time, I’m not going back to Lance’s place.
I’m going home.
Chapter 32
Ben
I used to be pretty good about picking the noncrazy girls out at a bar.
But I must be out of practice, because the girl currently dancing on my coffee table—even though no music is playing—is all-out nuts.
“Demi, honey,” I say, keeping my tone as calm as possible. “How about I call you a cab?”
The only response I get is a shirt in the face. Her shirt.
“Christ,” I mutter. So not in the mood for this.
“I wanna dance!” she hollers. “Come dance with me, Blake!”
I scratch my cheek. I swear to God she didn’t seem this weird in the bar. A little hyper maybe, but not loony bin.