“You have no idea.”
Lana and I talked about Reese and Devon, strategically avoiding the Jace topic. I think she knew it was too painful. I felt bad. This was her brother. But she said she didn’t feel torn. She could love us both and hope that soon things would get patched up. It was the first time our group was ever divided.
I lay in my bed that night, trying not to think. But there were too many worries swimming around in my head. Although I felt better after unloading to Lana, I realized I should have told her long ago. I couldn’t help wondering if the same went for Jace. Had I told him the truth about me before, the events of today wouldn’t have happened. Or maybe they would have, only sooner.
I closed my eyes, trying not to picture Jace’s expression after he found out what I was. But that image was permanently etched in my mind.
Chapter Twenty-One
THE NEXT DAY, LANA agreed that I should get away from the Academy. I wasn’t ready to bump into Jace. I felt he needed the extra time to settle down before we had to face each other in class.
Reese and I decided to go to our place. The falls. We had catching up to do, and he also wanted to test out my power. With everything that was going on—Jace, the Council’s secret mission—my power just didn’t register on my list of concerns. Especially now that I could control it with the help of my crystal. But I’d agreed to practice with him. It was at least a distraction from other pressing worries.
The river’s familiar trickle soothed my nerves as I settled onto the bank. Reese stood above me in his Kythan form, calling forth his White Flame on command. He’d been trying to replicate what I’d done the day before, but with no luck. His power was stronger than that of any Narco or Shythe, but he couldn’t figure out how I’d surrounded myself.
“Maybe it had something to do with what I was feeling at the time,” I said, watching him shoot blazing white flames into the river.
He turned toward me, his face lighting up. “You’re right. I think our power is more connected to our emotions than it is for most Kythan.” He rubbed his chin. “What were you thinking at that moment?”
I shrugged. “Stopping you guys.” I thought back, it hadn’t been that long, but I was having a difficult time pulling up those emotions again. “I just wanted to protect you both.”
Reese sat down beside me and raised his eyebrows. “Protect?” he said, clipped.
“Yes. I couldn’t jump into the fight, so I was wracking my brain for a way to save you guys.” I glanced at the river. “I thought you were going to kill each other.”
Reese took my hand. “So you wanted more than anything to protect us, and a shield went up.” He rubbed his thumb across the top of my hand. “That’s amazing. Not only did it protect you, closing you in, but it reached out, pummeling us.” He laughed. “Not so sure it endeavored to actually protect us, but it did work in theory. We stopped fighting.”
“What do you think that means? Are there other things we can do, or was that just some kind of heated moment thing?”
“I’m not sure. I think it’s your power alone. I don’t think it would work the same for me. You’re stronger than me.” He bowed his head. “But I know there’s more to our power. We just have to figure it out.”
I smiled. “You’re so seriou
s.” I stroked a stray hair from his eyes. “Are you jealous I’m stronger than you?”
He laughed. “Hardly. You might have that badass shield thing, but you’ve yet to take me on.” He wrapped his arms around me. “I think you’d find my power, when it comes to hand-to-hand combat, is pretty fierce.”
“I have no doubt.”
He cocked his head. “Are you patronizing me?” He smiled, his elongated eyeteeth looking sexy as they brushed his bottom lip. “I don’t mind being with a girl more powerful than me. Kind of turns me on.”
I rolled my eyes, but enjoyed being able to banter comfortably with him again. It felt safe. “Of course that would. I think I could knock the crap out of you and it would turn you on.”
“Definitely. In fact, let’s try it out.” He stood, pulling me up with him.
“Really? You want to spar?”
“I think I owe you a match.” He winked. I remembered his cocky attitude during our power matching session. Yeah, I definitely owed him.
His eyes became serious, and he stilled, tilting his head.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, glancing around the fall.
“Nothing. Thought I heard something.” His brow furrowed, but then he shook his head lightly. “It’s gone. Probably a deer.” He smiled at me. “Ready?”
I couldn’t help smiling as I took in his form. The points of his ears just peeking from beneath his dark hair. His fair skin, smooth and perfect. I wanted to shift for him. More than that, I was ready to face that fear and shift for myself. Somehow, seeing Jace and Reese almost destroy each other had put things into perspective. I’d been holding back—scared of hurting someone. But I’d been hurting myself. I was different but still Kythan. I’d hurt my mom, but not on purpose. I didn’t want to fear my power anymore.
I began shifting, feeling my features change. I trembled as I held back the power, but I completed my shift without the White Flame making an appearance.