He cocked his head. “No matter what, Dez, I’d never blame you if things didn’t work out.” He brushed a stray hair behind my ear. “But I at least want to try.”
I bit my lip, thinking. What I’d shared with Reese was so intense, so special. Could that really be over? Just like that? He didn’t even give me a chance to explain before he tossed it away, ignoring me and going out with some other girl. How could I break Jace’s heart in this moment? If I’d ruined everything with Reese, and he was done with us, why did I have to hurt Jace, too?
“Okay.” I pressed my lips together. “But can we take it slow? There’s so much going on. Let’s not lose focus.”
Jace beamed, his eyes squinting into his endearing, smoldering smile. He pulled my hands toward him and wrapped his arms around me in an intimate embrace. I guess this is slow for him, at least compared to the kiss. I hugged him.
He was still my Jace.
I pulled back, ready to find Nick and Lana, and Reese caught my eye. My heart plummeted. His eyes trailed over me and my hand holding Jace’s. His face pinched, then he turned his back to us.
He was acting just like the Narcos that had raised him. I gritted my teeth, and anger burned in the pit of my stomach like a ball of Flame.
Chapter Fifteen
I CUT OUT OF THE rec room early, slogging myself up the stairs to my unit instead of taking the lift. I didn’t like riding it alone. That cramped, mobile space weirded me out. After I put down my bag, I crashed on my bed, allowing the day to wash over me.
With all the guy drama renting too much space in my head, I’d almost forgotten about the headmaster’s vague speech today. Normally, Jace would be upset over something like that, accusing him of some conspiracy concerning the Narcos. But lately, ever since his change, he seemed to be more focused on me.
I didn’t think the Narcos were up to no good—at least not like Jace did—but the headmaster dodging the one thing we all truly wanted to know irked me. Why, after almost twenty years of living in segregated havens, were the Narcos here on a mingling mission to create peace that had already been established? Could Jace’s theory be right, and they really wanted to harness our power?
Great. Now I was reaching. Or, I just wanted anything else to think about. I was tired, ill feeling, and sick of trying to figure out what to do about Reese. Obviously, he’d made my decision for me. He didn’t feel what we shared was worth trying to work out. He didn’t even think I was worth the effort of talking things through. Well, if he was through with us and already moving onto another girl, I wasn’t going to reject and hurt my best friend while waiting for Reese to get over himself.
I admitted that what had happened sucked. But it wasn’t my fault. If he couldn’t see that, if he was too hotheaded to allow me an explanation…hell, if he was too proud to dump me face-to-face, then I’d give Jace the chance he asked for. At least someone in this sordid situation could be happy. And maybe, after I got Reese out of my system, I’d find that the feelings I’d been forming for Jace had been real all along. And that Reese—someone different, like me—had swooped in and blindsided me.
I looked at my reflection in my dressing mirror, nodding to myself in finality. We’d only spent a week together. It wouldn’t be that hard to get over him. But what a wickedly hot week. I banged my head against the mirror.
Frustrated, I threw myself across my bed and tossed my boot at the dial, outing the crystal lights.
For the rest of the week, I promised myself I’d focus on my studies. I buried myself in work from Mr. Liam’s class, taking on extra projec
ts, only pausing long enough to sleep and meet the triplets in the janitorial basement for our secret training sessions. We’d decided sparring twice a week was the max. Any more, and we’d run the risk of getting caught. Even though I thought sneaking around was a bad idea, I loved being able to spar again. I vented my frustrations through my fists.
Nick quickly became frightened of me.
My Charge surpassed theirs. And even though I didn’t use my power at its full capacity, since I never shifted, I still won most matches easily. I purposely backed off, allowing Nick to whip me a couple times so he’d stop commenting on my “mad” skills.
As far as teachers went, Mr. Liam was actually cool. I loved learning how to infuse crystals, using my Charge in different devices to make them run on electricity instead of steam. I began working on my own private project. Mr. Liam was the professor who’d worked with Devon to develop the contraptions for Cogs, and he’d agreed to help me, also.
I hadn’t had time to think about my strange white power, which was good in some ways—I didn’t worry about it. But I was still concerned it would appear during my shift. And I couldn’t avoid that forever. Jace had begun asking me to show him my Kythan form. I deflected his questions by expressing how strange it was for me at this point. He didn’t fully understand, but allowed me to have my weird quirk, remaining in his human form most of the time, too. I assumed to make me feel less weird around others.
Like Devon and Mr. Liam had infused crystals with Charge in order to contain our power, I wanted to invent something that could absorb mine. Something small that I could wear or carry in case my power began getting out of control—the way it had during my first shift. Something that could divert the power away from me. I had no idea how to go about doing this, so I dove into my studies, learning everything I could about energy transfer.
Jace kept his promise, taking our relationship slow. He hadn’t attempted to kiss me again, but we held hands, sat together during dinner and breakfast, and even studied together. It really wasn’t any different than how our relationship had been before, except for the way he looked at me sometimes. And how he’d touch my hair, caress my skin, or kiss my hand. I wasn’t going to lie and say I didn’t feel anything when he was near me—the boy was hot. And maybe if I’d never met Reese and shared that amazing week with him, being with Jace would feel like enough. But when I was with him, I couldn’t help feeling like there was a void.
Reese got closer to the Shythe girl, as well. They sat together at every meal, and in every class. I never saw him hold her hand or kiss her—I never watched for that long. Whenever I saw Reese, I’d turn and go another way. I also tried my best not to look at him during class. Being so near him I felt raw, like my soul was an open wound being submerged in salt water. At times it was hard to breathe.
By Friday, Kythan everywhere were anxious for the weekend. We had a curfew, midnight, but no one seemed to mind because we actually got to leave the Academy grounds. Lana was beyond excited as she talked about finally seeing Devon, so we made plans to go to Cogs.
Although I kept in contact with my mom through my communicator, she wanted to see me in person. I felt like I should allow her to see with her own eyes that I was alive and well and that life at the Academy was safe. So I made a separate set of plans to visit her on Saturday.
I only had to make it through my last class, my power training block, and then this horrible week would be over. I finished stretching out and stepped onto the mat with the rest of the students. Our instructor, Ms. Ceylon, eyed me from behind her whistle.
“Harkly,” she called out. “Front and center. You’re power matching Patcher today.”
My heart sped, hammering in my ears as I heard Reese’s last name. I looked to the side of the mat, and he took his place in front of the targets. Great. Fighting with power had been outlawed since the Treaty Act, but we still tested our power levels, training to become more powerful Kythan. Reese was the worst person she could have pitted me against. He knew all my weaknesses.
I slowly sidled up beside him and shook out my hands. He glanced over, but didn’t say a word. As his arms ignited with a red glow, I turned up the juice on my Charge.