By the time I opened my unit door, the tears blurred my eyes. Asshole. Was he flirting with that girl to show me how it felt? Or did he really like her? I threw myself down on my bed and covered my head with a pillow. The tears flowed. I choked them out in painful gasps. He’d barely acknowledged that I was in the same room after staring at me like I was his enemy.
I wasn’t done with my crying fit, but I’d run out of time. I only had ten minutes to get to my class, and I was still a blubbering mess. I wandered down the hall toward the community bathroom and splashed cold water over my face. It helped calm the blotching. Pressing a towel to my face, I took in shallow breaths. My sour reflection stared back at me, but it was as good as it was going to get.
I went back to my room, grabbed my bag, and headed off to my chemistry block. As I entered the classroom, Lana waved me over. She sat next to Jace and Nick. Great. That meant Mr. Tuner had worked all our schedules to be the same. I’d probably have every class with Jace. And I just needed some space.
Sitting down next to Lana, I spotted Reese. He was talking to the Shythe girl. You gotta be kidding me. I quickly looked toward the head of the class, where Mr. Liam was writing his name on the blackboard, and slumped down in my seat.
The class was a two-hour block. A two-hour block spent trying to avoid eye contact with Jace and Reese. By the end of the class, I wanted to claw my eyes out.
I closed my chemistry book and shoved it into my bag. Although the Academy was mainly for learning about Kythan and our power, we were also taught the basics of human knowledge. After all, we’d be in service to them the rest of our lives.
Jace knelt in front of my desk. “Since today’s schedule is messed up because of the assembly, we have a free period instead of our power training course. Lana, Nick, and I are heading to the cafeteria and taking our dinner to the courtyard. We were thinking the rec room, afterward.” He raised his eyebrows. “Are you still up to it?”
He ran a finger along my forearm. I averted my eyes from his and saw Reese staring at us, his eyes blazing red. He slammed his book on the desk and quickly packed it away, then stalked down the steps—his eyes burning a hole through me the whole way. My stomach knotted.
Jace squeezed my hand, and I met his eyes. “Yeah, I could use a little play time,” I said, biting down on my lip after the last word. I’d have bitten right through it if it meant I was able to focus on that pain rather than the stabbing in my chest.
He pulled me up and led me through the classroom. I knew at that moment it was wrong for me to find solace in Jace’s touch, but he was one of my best friends. Even though he was part of the reason I was experiencing the pain, I still found comfort in being near him. It was a strange mix of emotions—one that I just didn’t have the strength to explore.
We met Lana and Nick in the courtyard. The sun shone, illuminating the green grass and tulips planted along the Academy’s inner walls. It would have been peaceful if not for the noise in my head.
“So,” Nick said, stretching out on the grass. “Have we come up with a place to spar? I’m dying to test out my full power.”
I was nervous. I hadn’t yet roamed the Academy, but I was sure we wouldn’t find an isolated spot to train. Not without risking too much.
Jace sat down next to me. “Actually, I think I might’ve found a place.” I jerked my head toward him, eyebrows raised. “I was scoping out the gym yesterday, and there’s a basement underneath. Full of cleaning supplies and janitorial stuff.”
“You can’t be serious, Jace,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m sure the staff uses that. We’d be caught in no time.”
“Yeah, plus I don’t want to smell like cleaning products,” Lana said.
Jace smiled. “I thought about that,” he said, looking at me. “But I figured I’d check it out for a few days. See when they go down there, what their schedule is, and then plan around our blocks.”
I sat back on my palms. “What if there’s a cleaning emergency?” I asked. “Like a kid throws up or something.”
Nick laughed. “I highly doubt the staff would be called in for that.” He tilted his head. “We could do it late at night. Sneak out. No one would be summoned for a late night cleaning session then.”
“That’s not a bad idea.” Jace glanced at me. “I mean, we’re already rebels. Might as well add sneaking out to the list.” He winked.
I shook my head, laughing. “All right. Whatever. Count me in.” Then I held up a finger to him. “On the condition that you promise it’s safe.”
“I’d never endanger you guys.” He took my hand. My face flamed as Nick and Lana nonchalantly looked at each other, engaging in a private conversation. Jace leaned closer to me. “Can we go for a walk?”
Forcing in a breath, I nodded. Jace helped me to my feet, and we walked hand-in-hand through the courtyard. Shythe and Narcos were mixing together, practicing their power. I watched as a group of Shythe took turns sending bolts of Charge at a target. It was bizarre seeing Kythan so openly using their power.
“What?” Jace asked, threading his fingers through mine.
“I was just thinking how crazy it is here.” I glanced around. “We’re taught to hide our power. Here, people treat it like it’s a sport.”
Jace nodded. When we reached the other side of the courtyard, he leaned against the stone wall, bringing me close before him. He held both my hands in his, rubbing his thumbs over the tops as he stared at them.
“How do you feel about me, Dez?” He kept his eyes lowered. “I just have to know. Either way, you’re my best friend. But…I need to know.” He looked up into my eyes.
This was the moment of truth. How did I feel about Jace? I averted my eyes. My turn to stare at the ground. “I care about you. You’ve been like a brother to me my whole life.” I smiled to myself. “And I’m not blind. You’ve definitely gotten cuter over the years.” I glanced up, he was smiling. “But I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t completely throw me when you kissed me.”
Jace’s face fell. “I know. That was stupid. I…” He shook his head “I was lost in the moment. I thought you were there with me.”
“I was.” I blew air through my lips. “I mean, I care about you. I just don’t know in what way yet.” I looked at our joined hands for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “I don’t want to ruin what we already have.”