“I don’t want rational! I want what my grandparents had.” She waved wildly in the direction of the house where she had witnessed deep, abiding love, every single day. “I want pet names for each other and a love that endures through a lifetime.”
“You want me to call you red?”
“Don’t make fun of me. Or them,” she warned. “Gran stayed in that drafty house an extra year for Gramps, because she knew it would break his heart to leave it. Now she can’t stand to sleep in it without him there beside her.”
“And you want that?” He sounded askance.
“It beats being married to a stranger. Occupying a mausoleum of a house while pursuing separate lives.”
“My parents’ marriage is an alliance based on shared values. That’s not a bad thing if you agree on those values beforehand.”
“Speaking from experience, are you?”
Another harsh silence descended. This time she regretted her words. His pregnant wife had died. He might not have loved Faustina, but it must be a very raw wound.
Recalling that, her suspicions of his motives arose again. Maybe he would come to care for Lily, but why was he here now? What did he really want?
“Rico... You understand that one baby cannot replace another, don’t you?” She knew she had to tread softly on that one, but couldn’t hold that apprehension inside her. “If that’s why you’re here, then no.” It broke her heart to deny Lily her father, but, “I won’t let you do that to Lily.”
He stiffened and she braced herself for his scathing reaction, but it wasn’t at all what she expected.
“Faustina’s baby wasn’t mine.”
CHAPTER FOUR
THE WORDS WERE supposed to stay inside his head, but they resounded across the crisp air. Through the trees and off the sky. They made icicles drop like knives and stab into the frozen snow.
From a long way away, he heard Poppy say a hollow and breathless, “What?” Her thin, strained voice was no louder than his own had been, but rang like a gong in his ears.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, the leather of his gloves cold. All of him was encased in the dry ice of Canadian winter while his blood pumped in thick lumps through his arteries. His chest tightened and his shoulders ached.
“I shouldn’t have said that. We should get back.” He glanced the way they’d come, but it was shorter if she would only keep moving ahead on the path.
Thankfully, he couldn’t see a soul. They were the only pair of fools out here stumbling through the dark. He waved for her to proceed.
“Rico.” Her mitted hand came onto his forearm. “Is that true?”
The quaver in her voice matched the conscience still wobbling like a dropped coin in the pit of his stomach.
“Forget I said it. I mean it, Poppy.”
“I can’t.” She didn’t let him brush away her grip on his sleeve. “It matters. Tell me.”
“If I tell you...” He shifted so he cupped her elbow, holding her before him. “It stays between us. Forever. Do you understand?”
He had already said too much, but she was the mother of his child. His actual child. He had only tentatively absorbed that knowledge, only enough to know that one way or another he would bring them both back to Spain with him. Marriage was the quickest, most practical means of doing that. Therefore, she deserved to know the truth about his first marriage. As his wife, he expected her to protect his secrets as closely as he would guard hers.
And, damn it, he felt as though he’d been holding his breath for a thousand years. He couldn’t contain it one minute longer.
“Her parents found her,” he said, overcome with pity for them, despite his bitterness at Faustina’s lies. The colossal waste of life couldn’t be denied. The unborn baby might not have been his, but he was a decent enough human being to feel sadness and regret that it had been as much a victim as its parents.
“Where?” Poppy asked with dread.
“The garage. It wasn’t deliberate. They’d packed bags, had train tickets. She was with her parents’ chauffeur, naked in the back seat. They must have made love, perhaps started the car to warm it, then fallen asleep. They never woke up. Carbon monoxide poisoning.”
“Oh, my God.” She covered her mouth. “That’s horrible.”
“Yes. Her parents were devastated. Still are. They didn’t know about the affair. They begged me to keep it under wraps.”