Half an hour later, Bella threw her hands up in the air in defeat. “But I still don’t understand! Danby was one thing; even Mr Havelock I could sympathise with. But Molesworth…and now, of all men, Ellsmere. Georgie, you’ll never live it down. No one will believe you’re turning Ellsmere down for the ridiculous reason that you aren’t in love with him. They’ll start saying there’s something wrong with you, I know they will.” Bella’s voice quavered on the edge of tears.
Georgiana wasn’t entirely composed herself. But she endeavoured to keep her tone even as she replied, “But I don’t mean to make them propose. I do everything I can think of to avoid it.”
Bella frowned, aware this was so. She had watched her protégée like a hen with one chick, and had puzzled over Georgiana’s apparent uninterest in her suitors as suitors, rather than acquaintances. To her mind, the offers were coming in thick and fast precisely because, in comparison with most of the other débutantes, the gentlemen found Georgie so comfortable to be with. Then the oddity in Georgiana’s declaration struck her. Her head came up. “Why don’t you wish them to become attached? You can’t possibly have decided you can’t love any of them. You can’t expect me to believe you truly consider the single state preferable to being married.”
There was no possibility of avoiding Bella’s stern gaze. Georgiana had, in fact, spent the last weeks fantasising on marriage, albeit marriage to one particular gentleman. She felt her cheeks warm as she blushed guiltily.
And Bella, being Bella, and every bit as impulsive as Georgiana herself, immediately leapt to the correct conclusion. “Oh, Georgie!” she wailed. “You haven’t formed a…a tendre for some unsuitable gentleman, have you?”
Driven to the truth, Georgiana nodded dully.
“But who?” Bella was nonplussed. She had conscientiously vetted those to whom she introduced Georgiana. There had been no one unsuitable. None of the truly dangerous blades had approached her, and, in the circles they frequented, there was precious little chance for any outsider to gain access to her charge. So who was this mysterious man?
“He’s not actually unsuitable, exactly,” put in Georgiana, anticipating Bella’s train of thought. At her friend’s interrogative glance, she looked down at her hands, clasped tightly together in her lap, and continued, “It’s more a case of…of unrequited love. I fell in love with him, but he doesn’t love me.”
“Well, then,” said Bella, perking up at this, “we’ll just have to see to it that he changes his mind.”
“No!” squeaked Georgiana. She drew a deep breath and went on more calmly, “You don’t understand. He doesn’t know I love him.”
Bella looked thunderstruck. Then, after a moment, she ventured, “Well, why not tell him? Oh, not in words. But there are ways to these things, you know.”
But Georgiana was adamantly shaking her head. “He’s in love with someone else. In fact,” she added, hoping to shut off the terrifying prospect Bella seemed set on exploring, “he’s about to offer for another.”
“Oh.” Bella digested this unwelcome news, a frown settling over her delicate face. For the life of her, she still could not fathom who Georgie’s mystery man could be. In the end, she looked again at Georgiana where she sat on a chair, twisting the ribbons of her bonnet in her fingers, an uncharacteristically desolate look in her eyes.
Bella’s kind heart was touched. She had been thrilled at Arthur’s scheme to hire Georgiana as her companion and truly grateful for the way Georgie had tactfully gone along with the charade. Inwardly, she vowed she would do everything possible to learn who it was who had stolen Georgie’s heart and, if possible, change his mind. Unlike Georgiana, she did not imagine a man about to contract an alliance was necessarily in love with his prospective bride. Hence, she did not consider Georgie’s case lost. But, if it was, she must look to protect her friend’s best interests. She now knew enough of Georgiana to know she would never consider alternatives until, perhaps, it was too late. So, in a gentle way, Bella asked, “I don’t mean to pry, my dear. But do you not feel you could tell me who the gentleman is?”
Georgiana hung her head. Her feelings of guilt were increasing by the minute. How could she repay Bella’s kindness in this way? How could she tell Bella she was in love with her brother? Slowly she shook her head. Then, feeling som
e explanation was due, she said, “You know him, you see. And, as I said, he doesn’t know I love him. I…think it would be unfair to tell you—unfair to you and unfair to him.”
Bella nodded understandingly. “I won’t push you, then. But perhaps, in the circumstances, it would be best if I spoke to Lord Ellsmere this evening.” Georgiana’s startled look had Bella hurrying on. “Oh, I won’t tell him what you’ve told me. But there are ways and means. I’ll just hint him away. It would be best, I think, for all concerned if I had a word with him.”
Georgiana thought over this offer. Perhaps, in this case, she would be wise to accept Bella’s superior knowledge of how things were done. She raised her eyes to her friend’s blue gaze, wishing, for the umpteenth time, that Bella and her brother had taken after different parents in that respect. “If you don’t mind speaking to him…”
“Not at all.” Bella rose and impulsively hugged Georgiana. “Now! I’m going to ring for tea, and we’ll talk about something quite different.”
Georgiana summoned a smile and tried to tell herself that the peculiar emptiness within was only hunger.
TWO HOURS LATER Georgiana escaped to the sanctuary of her chamber. She did not ring for Cruickshank, wishing only to lie down and rest her aching head.
Quite when it was that she had finally realised she was in love with Lord Alton she could not be sure. Certainly, her social success and the proposals of Lord Danby and Mr Havelock had precipitated her thoughts on marriage. Only then had her feelings crystallised and gained substance. But, given that Lord Alton was so much older than she, and was shortly to marry Lady Changley, aside from having no inkling of her attachment and certainly no reciprocal emotions, she had originally decided her infatuation, for surely that was all it could be, was bound to pass. In such circumstances, and knowing Lord Alton was unlikely to spend much time in his sister’s house, or dancing attendance on them, she had not seen her position as Bella’s companion to be in any way compromised.
That had been before the shock of this afternoon had opened her eyes. Lord Ellsmere was all any young lady could desire. He was handsome, considerate, worldly and charming. And rich and titled… The list went on. But he was very definitely not the man she desired. When his lordship had taken her in his arms, she had been deep in a daydream in which she was walking with Bella’s brother. The disappointment she had felt on realising that it was not Lord Alton kissing her had been acute.
She could no longer delude herself. What she felt for Viscount Alton was what her mother had felt for her father. She had seen them together often enough, laughing happily in a world of their own, to have an innate sense of the emotion. Love. That was what it was, plain and simple.
How had it happened?
Ridiculous it might be. Impossible it might be. But it was real.
With a great sigh, Georgiana burrowed her head into the soft pillow. How she was going to cope when next they met, as it seemed certain they would, she did not know. But cope she would. She had no intention of letting Bella guess the truth, nor of running away and leaving Bella alone. Arthur had offered her a way out of her troubles, and she had accepted in good faith. She would not let him down. Somehow she would manage.
Worn out, she closed her eyes. She needed to rest her troubled mind. And her troubled heart.
THE DUCHESS OF LEWES was holding her Grand Ball three nights later.
“One has to be a Duchess to call your ball ‘Grand,’” Bella acidly remarked. “Still, one has to be seen there. It’s one of the compulsory gatherings, you might say.”