There are so man retorts that I could give to that, but I don’t. There isn’t any point, it’s written all over Buzz’s face that this is all he knows. I don’t want this, but I’ll suck it up if I can escape.
“Fine, whatever.” I purse my lips angrily. “I’ll pose and smile for a couple of pictures, but I don’t want to talk to any of them and I don’t want you to talk about me.”
“They will ask…” Buzz insists, but I’m not in the mood for his bullshit.
“I don’t care. Either you promise me that you’ll say nothing or we aren’t doing this.” I glare at him like he’s the Devil or something. “I’ll sneak out the back or something.”
“Okay, I’ll just brush it off if they ask. Although that’ll probably make them more suspicious. Sometimes the made-up stories are a million times worse than the real one.”
After tonight, I highly doubt it. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take. Come on.”
A few moments later we’re given the green light and we step out of the building. The camera flashes are so bright they’re almost blinding, but I don’t let that stop me from smiling. If anyone asks me, I’ll just say that me and Buzz are friends. Of course, the journalists will stretch it into the story that they want to be the truth, but I don’t care. I know this isn’t anything and so does Buzz. What strangers who read and believe everything think isn’t any of my business. I’m not exactly A list anyway so I’m sure there will always be someone more interesting than me out there to gossip about.
“Can we go now?” I ask Buzz through gritted teeth. “It’s been more than two minutes.”
He grips onto my arm, holding me closer to him. “Not yet, we need to do this right.”
“Are you two an item now?”, “How long have you been together?”, “Are things serious between you?”, “Did you meet on the set of the movie you’re filming together?”.
Questions fly, but I refuse to answer any of them and I pinch Buzz’s arm hard so he can’t either. The less we say, the less they have to add meat to the bones of their story. Even though Buzz is better known that me, he isn’t front page material. For now, I think I can survive this.
“Let’s leave.” Finally, I’ve had more than enough so I push my way through the crowds and Buzz has no choice but to follow me. I don’t think he wants to, but it’s tough. I’ve done what he wants, now it’s time for him to do what I want. “Can I get a ride in your car?” I ask him while already stepping inside. “I don’t want them to follow me. They might think they can get more info out of me alone.”
“Do you have to go home?” Buzz asks me in a small voice. “You can always come and stay with me, you know? I don’t necessarily expect anything, I can just get a bit… lonely.”
It’s strange, under his façade he isn’t the worst person in the world. There’s actually a nice person there who my heart goes out to, but not enough to make me want to spend the night with him.
“I can’t I’m afraid, Buzz,” I tell him regretfully. “I actually have some stuff I need to take care of. I’m sorry. But if you’re ever lonely we can always hang out again as friends.”
Maybe if we become actual friends I can give him some advice. He could do so much better for himself if he drops the cocky mask and actually shows some vulnerability. Girls would flock to him, and nice ones that actually want to be with him, not fame hungry wanabees who don’t like him.
But tonight, definitely isn’t the time to share that observation. I’ll wait.
I give Buzz my address and stare out the window while we whizz along the road, pondering over my choices. I know that t
ime is a great healer, I’m sure I can get over how I’m feeling with regards to Owen if I allow myself the chance to do so, but is that what I want? Will that make me happy? Distracting myself hasn’t worked – although I suppose I didn’t pick the best guy to try that experiment with – and I also couldn’t bring myself to delete his number. There’s a reason for that and I’m not sure that ignoring it is healthy either. There’s something there, it isn’t something I’m used to, but I do know I want more of it.
Maybe this is the wine talking, although I only had one glass, I think I need to contact Owen again to see. I don’t want to go through my life with unanswered questions, I think that’ll be worse than having regrets. This might be the craziest thing that I ever end up doing, he’s someone I shouldn’t be able to be with really, but I can’t help myself. I want to try.
Chapter Ten – Owen
The next time my phone rings, it’s my cell not my work phone, which is the only thing that makes me look at it. I’m utterly stunned to the core when I see the number on the screen, just as I’d gotten myself adjusted to the idea that it really is time to move on, she’s reaching out to me again.
Am I dreaming? I ask myself with a sharp shake of my head. Have I lost it?
But no, I really do seem to be awake. The one thing that I’ve been hoping for and dreading all at the same time has happened and now I don’t know what to do with myself. I shouldn’t answer, this isn’t the healthiest of ideas, but I already know that I’m going to. The need to see her again is too much. Knowing that she wants to communicate with me too is too powerful to overcome.
“Hello? Avril?” I say quietly, not wanting to disturb Tyler from his sleep.
“Owen, oh thank goodness. I was so afraid that you weren’t going to pick up then!”
I sit up in bed and cradle the phone closer to my ear. She sounds so geuninly pleased to hear from me that I can’t help wanting to cling tightly to her. “Of course, I would answer.”
“What are you doing right now? Are you busy? I don’t want to disturb you or anything.”
“I’m not too busy to speak to you.” I slide off the bed and head out into the hallway where I can speak to her privately. There are people milling about, but no one interested in me. “How are you?”
“I was actually wondering if we could have a conversation face to face.”