“I do.”
“And do you, Neil, take this woman, Fay, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do.”
“With the power invested in me by the state of Alaska, I now pronounce you man and wife. Neil, you may kiss your bride.”
As Neil leaned in and kissed me, kissed me as he officially made me his wife, I could still see that time so long ago when he had leaned forward and kissed me chastely after I had told him that I would love to be his girlfriend. I realized in that moment that he was still at least some of that little boy, while I was still some of that little girl. We were those versions of ourselves as well as the versions we were now, and we would be both and more as we went about the process of growing old together.
I kissed him back, and as he took me by the hand and led me down the aisle and back towards the massive house the two of us would live in now, I thought I might have just caught the faintest glimpse of what it meant to love a person for the span of a lifetime. It was too big to hold onto, and I was sure that I would lose sight of it sooner rather than later, but in that moment. I felt that I understood everything. It filled my heart with joy.
“Follow me,” he said.
“Follow you where?”
My thoughts had been such that I had been paying more attention to what was in my head than to where I was going. When I looked up, I saw that he was in the process of leading me to the master bedroom. Over the course of the last year, Neil had seen to it that almost the whole interior of the house had been made over, and the master bedroom was now where we slept. It was a lovely room, and one I still felt grateful to be able to call my own, but I wasn’t too sure why we were going to it now. All of our friends were still downstairs, getting ready to party and celebrate our wedding, and our bedroom had nothing to do with that. Still, his fingers were intertwined with mine, and he was leading me towards the bed, his intentions suddenly crystal clear.
“But Neil, we can’t! There are people waiting for us down there!”
“Let them wait. I love you, Fay. I love you, and I want to show you that.”
The part of me that wanted to play a good hostess was anxious to fight him and insist that we go downstairs and save what he had in mind for later. But there was a whole other part of me that I wasn’t sure had even existed before this second relationship with Neil. In so many ways, it was a continuation of the relationship we’d been a part of for almost all of our lives. This was the part of me that wanted to let him love me, that wanted to love him back, and this was the part of me that won out.
I didn’t put up any kind of fight. Instead, I raised my hands over my head in a submissive gesture that made him smile a little. He took the simple white shift I had chosen as my wedding dress and pulled it over my head, laying it out gently so that I could put it back on again when we were done. My arms came down, and I stood before Neil, naked. I stood before my husband and looked up at him with wide, expectant eyes. His face looking back at me was all sweet smiles and tender lines, and when he kissed me, it was after cupping my face in both of his impossibly large, strong hands.
He kissed me slowly. His lips moved on mine with something approaching timidity, feeling for my reaction as he went. Practically on my tiptoes to do it, my arms moved up to his neck and plunged into his slightly disheveled hair. I pulled him toward me as I used my tongue to separate his lips. I slipped it inside of his mouth, smiling as we continued to kiss. He groaned into my mouth.
I could feel him growing hard against my hip, and one of my hands began to slide down his chest, taking my time to unbutton his shirt as I went. He wore no undershirt beneath, and very soon, I had his bare chest exposed so that I could run my hands along the length of his muscles and feel his heart hammering underneath his skin.
“Are you nervous?” I asked with a smile, half joking and half serious as I peered into his eyes intently.
“Of course, I’m nervous.”
“Are you?” I asked again, genuinely surprised by his response. “But why? How could you be nervous about being with me when we’ve been together so many times before?”
“I’m always nervous when I’m with you. Every time I look at you, every time I touch your skin, there are always nerves.”
“
But why?” I laughed, my hands still moving over his skin, moving down to the buckle of his belt as I liberated him from his pants. “I don’t want to make you nervous! That’s awful!”
“It’s not awful. I’m glad you make me nervous. It reminds me of how special you are. Every time I’m with you, I get to remember how lucky I am to have you. I get to remember how lucky I am that you took me back. I swear to God, Fay, I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to show you how happy you make me. There’s nothing I won’t do for you, nothing I won’t give you. I get nervous when I’m with you because you’re the only thing in this world I know I can’t live without.”
Without realizing it was happening, tears had begun to slide silently down my face, but they were happy tears, and my own little reminder of how much I had gained over the past year. I kissed him on the place where his heart lay and then pulled at his pants, standing back a little as he removed them the rest of the way.
My hand went to his long, throbbing member. My fingers ran along the length of him slowly, savoring the feeling of him beneath my fingertips. He gasped, then shut his eyes and threw his head back while my hand moved steadily. I could feel him growing slick as I grew slick at the same time. When neither of us could take it any longer, he gently removed my hand and led me to the bed.
He climbed on top, and then I climbed on top as well, moving my body so that I was hovering above him. When I was in position, I stopped and looked down upon him, surveying all of the wonderful things he was and reveling in the feeling of his eyes roving over me. The two of us had built quite a history for ourselves together in his bed, and despite that fact, there was something about this time that felt different to me.
This time when I looked down upon him, I knew not only that I belonged to him but that he belonged to me as well. It was the most empowering feeling I had ever experienced, and when I reached down to guide him inside of me, I cried out with immediate pleasure, already so wet I wasn’t sure that I could take much more. I hadn’t planned this interlude, hadn’t thought it was the best idea, but now that we were in the middle of it, there was nothing in the world I wanted more.
“God, Fay,” he sighed, his hands moving to my hips while his thumbs traced little circles on the sensitive skin that lived there. “God, I love you so much it hurts me.”
“Don’t let it hurt. Just love me. Just love me and let me love you back.”
We began to move at the same pace. His dick was deep inside of me. The feeling caused me to moan.
I sat up so he was deep inside of me, and I began to move my hips back and forth, rolling my body as I did so.