The Parliament was happy for now, but it wouldn’t take much to push them over the edge. Milos’s life had been shrouded in enough controversy, and I did not want to continue our marriage under that same cover. I also didn’t want to raise a child, always wondering in the back of my mind if he or she would one day find out about our secret. That was it. I couldn’t let that happen. I had to make sure that Milos did this the right way.
I stood from the couch, walked back over to the window, and stared out at the rain. There had to be a better answer to this. I needed to get control of this entire thing. The last thing we needed was Milos going crazy over this without control of himself or his actions. I understood his anger, and I felt it too, but at the same time, these were the facts. I was a stripper. He had picked me up at a strip club. I did not have the regal past that everyone thought I did. No matter how angry or bitter we got, those were the facts, and they were never going to just disappear. I stopped for a moment, realizing that if I didn’t do something about this myself, it would forever haunt me. I turned toward Milos and sighed.
“I don’t care anymore,” I said loudly. “I can’t hide from this any longer.”
“What are you talking about?” Milos asked as he stepped forward cautiously.
“We cannot change the past, Milos, it is what it is. Everything I experienced, every choice I made, created the woman that is standing here in front of you today. What you may see as shameful actions are the ones that brought me to this Kingdom. I am tired, damn tired, of having to hide this.”
“What about you?” Milos asked. “What about the Kingdom? The people aren’t just going to applaud this.”
“Maybe they will accept me, and maybe they won’t. But either way, I won’t have to live the rest of my life always looking over my shoulder, always wondering if someone is going to expose me. Just wait, when the baby is born. The news will spread like wildfire. Then we have to not only worry about shielding ourselves, but our child as well. It will always lurk over my shoulder, Milos. If I can handle this on my own terms, I can be in control of how it is presented to the people.”
I put my hands down and looked down at the floor. I hated that I wasn’t the one who got to make the decision on this. It was my life, my past, and my future, but everyone was trying to protect me, like I was a porcelain doll. I understood that Milos’s guilty conscience was driving this force, but this wasn’t about him anymore. He had made his bed long ago, and we had come to a point where that was all behind us. He didn’t need to prove his love by doing something stupid and taking another hit on his reputation.
I knew that if this wasn’t handled properly and intelligently, then it could blow up worse than before. If we wanted to teach our children about honesty, integrity, and pride, then we needed to live by those standards, and not hide behind our riches and our titles. Sometimes, that may mean doing things that make us uncomfortable or even scared, but in the end, it was the right thing to do, for everyone.
I slowly walked over to Milos, who was standing there silently, watching me as I moved. I cou
ld feel our child inside of me, kicking and moving as we spoke. I know Milos couldn’t feel it, but I knew he felt the love and protection in his heart. I just needed him to see that it was about the future, not covering up the past. We were done with cover ups, and we should move forward with full transparency. The people, our family, and our child will appreciate that in the future. I grabbed Milos’s hand and set it on my belly, gazing up at him with loving eyes.
“Let me do this my way,” I said gently. “For me, for you, for our child, and for the future of this Kingdom. Let me control my past.”
Milos looked down at me and down at his hand, resting on my belly. I could see his heart breaking. He took in a deep breath and kissed me on the forehead, pulling his hand from my belly. I watched as his eyes shifted from mine and then back to the fire. He shook his head feverishly as the thought ran through his mind.
“No,” he said sternly. “I will take care of this in my way. I have put you through hell and back, ever since we met, and there is no way I am going to allow you to face the embarrassment and ridicule that could come from this. You don’t deserve any of it, and I won’t allow it to happen.”
“Milos,” I said as he turned toward the door.
“That is the end of it,” he replied sternly. “I am going to go meet with Brat so we can plan our strategy. Please try to rest and know that this whole situation is in good hands. I love you very much, Adriana, and I promise to make all of this go away.”
I stood angrily with my arms crossed as he left the room. I walked back over to the chair and plopped down, not knowing how to feel. I wanted to be furious, to lash out, and to tell Milos “no.” But I also knew that everything he was doing was because he loved me, he loved this child, and he loved his Kingdom. Just a few months ago, he wouldn’t have given a damn about my reputation, but now, he would jump through hoops to make this right.
The problem was, he was using his guilt of the past to drive his choices in the present. He was completely ignoring the repercussions that could come from that. While his words were not meant to hurt me, there was part of me that couldn’t help but be saddened by his demeanor and wish that he could see that we were supposed to work as a team, not be split apart by all of this. When that happens, Reg is getting exactly what he wants, control over the entire situation.
I rubbed my belly as the baby continued to kick and move, sensing my uneasiness. The rain poured hard outside, washing the petals from the flowers in the garden. I couldn’t just sit here and let him destroy himself. What kind of wife and Queen would I show myself to be if I didn’t step in when Milos needed me the most? He may not know it, and he may not see it, but this was one of those times that would test our strength as a couple. This was no longer his decision to make, and like it or not, I was about to take control.
Chapter 28: Milos
I felt incredibly guilty as I stomped out of the room, knowing I had pulled the control right out from under Adriana. She just didn’t understand, and it was because she was so new, so green in this royal life. She wanted to be true and honest, which was something I admired so much about her, but she didn’t realize she could bury herself with that kind of transparency. Instead of wondering if our secret would ever be revealed, we would spend our lives defending our actions, fighting for our place in the Kingdom, and drowning in ridicule from the people we were supposed to be representing and leading. Adriana had been through so much in her life, even before I came into the picture. The last thing I wanted was for her to go through even more.
I didn’t want a single soul to know of my beautiful Queen’s past, beyond the few who already knew. I was in no way ashamed of her, but I knew others would not understand and see the amazing human being she really was. They would immediately judge her and I based on how we met and where she worked. I knew this all too well because I had done that exact thing when picking Adriana to contract for the fake marriage. I had assumed that since she was a stripper, she lacked morality, class, and social equity, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I wanted people to see Adriana the way I did. I wanted them to see her kind heart, her enormous intellect, and her servitude for a country she only just met. With a past like hers looming over her, I didn’t see how people could look past it.
Throughout my life, I have come to know the tabloids as if they were cast off cousins no one was happy to see. They knew me by first name, and I was pretty sure I had bought a few journalists drinks in some of my drunken tirades. I was pretty sure they were bummed when I turned over a new leaf, seeing as they wouldn’t have my dumbass self to post all over the front page. Their sales were plummeting, and if they got ahold of a story like this, they would have a field day.
Not only would me and Adriana be called out for all of our past transgressions, my mother would be implicated in the whole thing. It would be hard for the public to believe that something like this could have happened right under the Queen’s nose without her knowing. From there, our children would never be able to sneeze wrong around the press without getting beat up and splashed all over the headlines. They will have to make choices as they grow that will determine their character, but the last thing I wanted to do was start them out behind the curve.
As I walked into the meeting room where Brat was waiting for me, I rubbed my hands through my hair and grabbed a bottle of water. I shook my head and sat down at the table, watching Brat stare out at the gardens, lost in his own thoughts. Hearing the squeaking of the chair wheels, he turned around and grabbed the back of the chair.
“So, what’s the scoop, boss?” he asked with a deep sigh.
“I could really use a glass of whiskey right now,” I said, chuckling. “But I suppose this water will have to do.”
“I promise when we get through this, we will both have a beer, on me,” he replied.
“So, this is where we are,” I said, lowering my voice. “I cannot grant this guy his request. First of all, it would never fly, second of all, we know that he would never stop coming back with the same threat over and over again. So, that’s out.”
“What does Adriana have to say about it?”