“Well, what happened?”
I told her the whole story. She sat there the entire time silent as a mouse with her big mouth gaping open. “Wow, that is intense. Oh, damn. I need a shower again. This is too much. You are living the life that most of us dream of right now. It’s like you are part of your own Lifetime romance movie.”
“Aren’t most of those about psycho stalkers?”
“Yes,” she said. “But the first half of the movie is always so sexy and hot. Then it gets bad with the murder and whatnot.”
“Oh, but the first half is ok? That’s good to know that my life reminds you of that.”
“Sure,” she laughed. “So, what happens now?”
“I’m not sure. I think we just take things and see where they go from here. I know I care deeply about him. I want to see what happens next. I just hope that something doesn’t go wrong. I don’t have the best luck with men.”
“I think your luck is changing,” she said. “And you have a great guy there. It sounds like he has just the same passion for this that you do.”
“I think you’re right. But I have that fear. That old fear that sits right in the middle of my stomach and burns there. It goes away sometimes, but then it comes back with a vengeance. You know?”
“I’ve been there a time or two,” I said.
“Yeah, it’s silly.”
“No. It’s not silly. It’s something that you have to process. You have to feel it. You just have to go through it. And it is scary. There is no reason that you should ever feel sorry about the way you feel. That is nonsense, honey. But I assure you that the fear is no reason not to go through something. If it didn’t matter then you wouldn’t be afraid. So it has its place, right?”
“I guess it does,” I said.
“Well, I’m going to have to get ready to go soon,” she said. “I’ve loafed around too long today listening to your stuff.”
“Why were you up so early?”
“Are you kidding? I’ve already got my run in. I was up at four-thirty.”
“Aren’t you scared running out there in the dark by yourself?”
She shook her head. “Hell, whatever is out there had better be a lot more afraid of me.”
“I’m sure it is,” I said with a chuckle. Ida was tough as nails. I admired her so much.
I went into the bathroom and took a shower. Then I got dressed and ready for the day I had in front of me. I did not get nearly as much studying done yesterday as I had planned and now I was going to have to pay for it. I might flunk a quiz or two, but oh well. There were worse things in life. At least that was what Ida would have said. She was one of those people who never seemed to worry about anything. Even bad things had their silver lining as she was so fond of saying.
I grabbed my phone and texted Darren. I had to tell him why I left so suddenly. I thought about those cheesy movies where someone left a handwritten note on the pillow. Well, that was kind of silly now when we could just shoot someone a text. But it didn’t have the same touch of charm to it. I wished I’d written him a quick, old fashioned note. It would have been cute. He would have loved it. I wanted to show him that I was different and that whatever we had and how it developed was going to be a unique experience for the both of us. I could feel this deeply within my bones.
I grabbed some quick breakfast and then headed off to the library on campus that opened at six. I had some time to get some studying done before my first class. That professor was notorious for springing pop quizzes on random days and he loved to do it when he knew we were the least bit prepared. It was like he knew that we hadn’t studied somehow. It was the last few semesters for me and I had to admit I was starting to feel like slacking off. I didn’t care so much anymore. It was almost over, but that was the make or break moment that could actually kill you if you were not careful. I knew that.
I was able to actually focus and get some things committed to memory. This really surprised me, mostly because until that moment I’d been unable to get my mind off Darren. I was counting the hours until I could fall into his arms again. I fantasized that after Bobby went to sleep, Darren and I would slip off to his bedroom for another round of playtime. And maybe some time we’d get a babysitter or a nanny to cover for us when we wanted to go out somewhere. But… wait, that was me. I smiled at the thought. What would we do on those occasions? I hoped that Darren wanted to do things that weren’t just sexual. He hadn’t hinted that he was thinking this would be a sexual relationship only, especially after the way he spoke last night. I was just becoming a little paranoid. Did I think that if we did that two nights in a row that we’d established a bona fide pattern and nothing was going to change that?
I had to get a grip. My phone buzzed right then and I saw it was Darren. I nervously read his response to my message. It said, “Good thinking. I’ll see you tonight.”
I smiled.
He’d responded to me. It was like receiving this huge level of validation. But I didn’t want to feel that crazy about a guy. A man who could drive me that crazy so easily could get away with a lot if he wanted to. Not that I believe Darren would be one of those guys who would take advantage of something like that, but you never could tell about people.
That was the craziness of it. I didn’t know Darren well. I barely knew him at all. But I felt like I knew him. And that was a dangerous road to walk down sometimes.
Shit.
I realized I was almost late for class. I quickly grabbed my stuff and jogged out of the library and headed toward the social sciences building which was about a half mile from where I was. I should have left ten minutes ago. I was going to be late. Dammit.
The campus was sparse at this time of the day. Most of the people moving around were coming back from parties and were massively hungover, or they were jogging and trying to do something healthy for their bodies. Or they were like me and sprinting for their next class.