“Is this better?” Vlad asks.
I nod, unable to find my voice as I nuzzle my head underneath his chin.
There’s too many of them. Too many men I want and too many of them that want me. First Kyle. The man I married. Then Theo, in Norway. Then Sebastian, twice. Unable to control myself around them. Now there’s Vlad, with his heat and his steam and his bare hands massaging my spine. Trickling up every vertebra and feeling all of them to make sure I’m okay. I know what he’s doing. He’s making sure I haven’t been attacked. His hands are slowly making sure nothing is out of place and that I haven’t been compromised in some way.
I wrap my arms around his body and pull him closer as my lips graze his chest.
My want for them is undeniable, and I can feel Vlad trembling with desire. I know he’s trying. I know every time he’s around me it’s a chore for him to hold back. I know it is for all of them, and part of me realizes it’s the way I’ve been bred. I’ve been made to be irresistible to them, and them to me.
Which means I’m not bred to be monogamous, despite how I was always raised.
One man for the rest of my life. That was the notion I was raised with. One man to take care of me and love me and provide for me and protect me. Yet here I am, thrown into a world I fit into more than I want to admit most days, and the idea of monogamy is only held by some of the races I’m compatible with. And I can’t deny what my body wants. What my body screams for in the middle of the night.
All of them.
Their hearts. Their minds. Their bodies.
All of them, completely.
All of them, mine.
The rules have changed in my life, and I can’t deny that. So, does that mean that me wanting all of them isn’t a bad thing? And if it isn’t, is there a way to get them to accept that? To get all
of them to accept the fact that I want all of them, wholly and completely?
I’m not sure.
And the thought makes my heart sink.
Vlad strokes my hair, filling my body with electricity. I’m trembling against him as my feet physically press me deeper. I feel myself caving to him, and I can feel his cock throbbing against my stomach. I whimper as he stumbles into the tree, dragging me with him. My strength is coming out. My claws are beginning to form. I look up into Vlad’s eyes and watch the darkness of carnal desire drip over them.
I lace our fingers together and pin his wrists to the tree, but his commanding voice rips through my debilitating thoughts of lust.
“Clarissa. Look at me.”
Electricity is surging through my mind as I claw through the haze. My vision clears, and I see the look of panic on Vlad’s face. Immediately, I take a step away from him. Away from his naked body and his leaking cock and his panicked features.
“Oh, my gosh,” I say breathlessly. “I’m—I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Vlad says. “I know. If there’s anyone who gets it, I do.”
Then, understanding dawns on me. The uncontrollable thirst. The haze of lust. The unassuming strength, and the insatiable need to claim him. To feel his lips against mine. To mark him with my teeth.
That was what Vlad felt back in his village. He wasn’t preying on me or teaching me a lesson.
He was out of control.
Like I was a few seconds ago.
I take a step back from Vlad, and I see him reach out for me. His hand encompasses mine, but a rush of desire shoots up my arm. I can’t control myself. I can’t contain it. I whimper as I slide my hand from his and take off in a dead sprint back to the village. Distance between us is good. Distance until this war is over. Distance until we can be free to live our lives. Maybe then I can have him. Maybe then I can mark him.
Maybe then, I can get the men I care for to stand by my side together.
Maybe then, I can have all of them instead of having to choose.
Chapter 15
Sebastian