I think about my father. Caged and unwilling to fight for himself. I think about my first encounter with Clarissa. How I was uncontrollable and wild. I hate that. Being uncontrolled. I pride myself on my ability to keep a lid on things, but with her, it’s close to impossible. I feel the hairs on my body standing up. Multiplying and growing coarser as my claws protrude. My clothes rip and shred, falling into tatters at my feet. I throw my muzzle to the sky and let out a shrieking howl. A howl filled with pain. With torment.
With desire.
Then I take off deeper into the woods, feeling the snow shooting out behind me. I dash through the trees and run down the embankments, allowing everything to flow out into the night. It’s all too much, and usually never enough. That is the plight of a Primal. Stuck between a world we look like we belong to and a world we might not ever fit into. Blood is rushing through my veins and saliva is dripping down my fangs. Faster and faster I run, through the bushes and over the rabbit holes, until I have nothing left except the screaming voice in my mind.
And as I come to a stop and turn around, night falls around my body. Leaving me with nothing but worries for my father and an insatiable lust for Clarissa.
Fuck.
I’m never going to be able to shake her.
Chapter 14
Clarissa
“D on’t worry about them . Their jealousy will settle out.”
“There’s nothing to be jealous about, Sebastian.”
“I know they care for you, and they don’t like the fact that we’ve mated.”
“We had sex, Sebastian. It isn’t like we’re exclusive.”
“That isn’t what your scent says, Clarissa. I know it’s hard to stomach now, but that’s okay. I’m here for you, no matter what. Now pay attention. Joel’s talki
ng us through plans.”
I roll my eyes and look back over long enough to see Vlad leave the house. I need a break. Sebastian is making all this noise about being exclusive after one night of sex, Joel won’t stop cornering me and asking me to stay back with them, and this pregnancy has me scared. I haven’t told any of the guys yet, and I swore Josie to secrecy. I knew if they knew they wouldn’t let me fight, and that isn’t an option. I am going to fight in this war, and I am going to protect my child, and I am going to make this world a safer place for him or her to live in.
And no one can stop me from doing that.
“Clarissa?” Joel asks.
His voice rips me from my trance as my eyes whip over to him.
“What?” I ask.
“Can I talk with you for a second?”
“Not a chance,” Sebastian says.
“Really? I have to ask your boyfriend for permission?”
“No. The only permission you need is mine, and Sebastian isn’t my boyfriend,” I say.
“I’m her mate.”
“No, you're not,” I say as I throw my gaze up to his.
His face hardens, and I know he’s upset with me. But I don’t care. Just because we fucked a couple of times doesn't mean he gets to claim me or control me or indulge in whatever fantasy he wants to believe about us. I peel myself away from his warm body and suppress the shivers already running down my spine. This pregnancy is making me stronger, but it’s also robbing me of every ounce of heat I can muster.
But if it’s what my child needs, then they can have it.
Always.
“I need a moment,” I say.
“Where are you going?” Sebastian asks.