She couldn’t lose him.
Ever.
This was all her fault.
Chapter 11
There was only room for one of them in the back of the ambulance. Mark had to explain it twice to Jamie as he helped her get up in the back. He offered a tight smile. "I'll meet you there." He moved back as they closed the door.
Jamie shifted up to the other side of Alex as the paramedics moved quickly, barking orders back and forth to each other. Tears dripped down her face as she waited to move up and make sure he was okay for herself. From the sound of things, he was doing better than expected. The bulled entered the front of his chest on the right side, which apparently was a good thing. She tried to listen to their medical garble but she was in shock and it all sounded foreign.
"Alright. Move up here, but if something happens, you shift back the minute I tell you to, okay?" The paramedic looked back at her. “You going to be okay?”
She nodded and scooted up, wanting to say a million things, but her voice was lost behind the fear that compressed her lungs. She took Alex's hand and brushed her fingers down the side of his face where the oxygen mask wasn't.
"Why isn't he awake?" Her voice was nothing more than the whisper of a scared child.
"We need him in a restful state, trying to keep him calm. His blood pressure was through the roof, which is quite expected, but we don't want to cause the heart to pump any more blood than necessary until we get him patched up." He patted her back. "I think it's going to be okay. Just hang in there. Alex Reid is a fighter. I’ve read the papers. He’s tough."
The raced through the city as Jamie tried to keep herself together. Had she been alone, she would have been an absolute mess of sobs and tears. There was no room for that in the small box they were being tossed around in.
"We're two minutes from the hospital. Jump out the minute we stop the truck and open the door. You'll need to stand back and when the doctors are through working on him, they'll come get you."
The other EMS barked something, and Jamie shifted back as Alex let out a long groan and convulsed.
"Oh shit," she murmured and pressed her fingers to her mouth.
"We're here. Out. Now!" the first guy yelled at her, and she half fell out of the truck, but stumbled backwards to clear the space for them. They pulled Alex out of the back and ran full speed toward the hospital as Jamie tried to collect herself.
Everything was happening so quickly and yet somehow it all felt in slow motion at the same time.
"Please don't let anything happen to him. Please." She walked into the ER and stopped at the front, waiting for the attendant to look her way. Impatience should have swelled within her, but she couldn't seem to force anything around the numbness of her current situation.
"Yes, ma'am?"
"My fiancé just came in from a gunshot wound. Do I need to do anything?" she mumbled as tears continued to streak her cheeks.
"Alex Reid?”
Jamie nodded.
“Just have a seat, and we'll have you do paperwork in a little bit when things calm down for you." The woman's face softened just a little bit, and the kindness in her expression caused Jamie's façade to slip a little more.
"Okay, thanks." She turned and walked back out into the mid-morning weather, pressing her hands to her face and letting out a long sob.
Strong arms wrapped around her, and Mark's voice filled her ears. "Is he okay? What's going on, Jamie?"
She nodded. "I th-think so. Just gimme a minute."
"Take as long as you need." He held her as she let herself go, crying hard and long at the thought of not having Alex with her forever. The chance of him pulling through was good, but it didn't matter. The idea of losing him, especially for something that was all her fault was damning to her spirit. "Let's go inside and sit down. They'll take good care of him."
Mark was trying hard to remain calm from what Jamie could tell, but the worry showed on his face, in the tight lines of his smile and narrowing of his eyes. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they walked back into the waiting room. The place was buzzing with activity, which couldn't be a good thing. "Did they say anything at all? Where was he hit?" Mark sat down beside her, not letting go of her shoulders until she pulled away from him.
"In his chest on the right side. I'm so glad it wasn't on the left." She shuddered at the thought. "It's a waiting game now.” She shuddered and the image of Stephen full of hate flashed in her head. The horrible look on Alex’s face as he fell. She teared up again. “I just wish I’d stopped Alex. Or it was me."
“Jamie! Don’t say that!” Mark pulled her tight. “We wish it was no one.”
She burst into another bout of tears.