"Yeah. I just wish I could figure out how to make it work in my own life." She leaned back, feeling comfortable about being around her father, but not so much her mom. They'd all promised each other that they would move toward a healthier relationship, and, for the most part, her mother was sticking to the promise. Maybe it was time to start trying more than waiting for something to just happen.
Maybe the same was true in her relationship with Alex.
"Still having trouble with that impossibly handsome boss of yours?" Her mom walked in and handed her a glass of tea.
"Yeah. I'm totally in love with him, but all the stuff in his life has him either attacking me with words or passion. It's been anger and indecision as of late." She took a long drink of the tea, enjoying the rush of sugar that brushed over her tongue.
"Then sit him down and be straightforward about what you want, Jamie." Her father took her free hand. "I didn’t like the guy at first, but now I sort of respect him. However, men are dense at times. Just lay it all out, and then if he isn't receptive, you can start to pull back or play games. I'm not sure if you're like your mother in this sense, but when I attack her, she doesn't look to calm me..."
"Nope. I attack back just as hard. It's one of the things we're going to try to start working through." Her mom shrugged, looking more peaceful than Jamie could remember seeing in years.
"I just feel the need to prove to him that I'm more than enough for him. That I'm all he needs, and if he gives me up..." Tears burned her eyes and lodged a frog in her throat.
"It's okay, baby. You are more than enough for any man. He's damn lucky to have you in any capacity." Her father moved closer, wrapping his arm around her. "Maybe he's not the right guy for you."
"No," her mother interrupted, "I think he's exactly the guy for her. He's ballsy and strong, loving and dominant, from what I gather. She just needs to fight for him. Whatever is going on in his personal life should include you. Go get up beside him, and don't worry about reminding him of anything. If he's worth your time, he already knows what kind of woman you are. Fight for him. If it's against another woman, hurt the bitch. If it's for his time, wiggle your way into his day. If it's for something else, figure it out. You're smart, Jamie. Don't let this get you down. If you want him, go get him, and don't take no for an answer."
"Damn, that's hot." Her father pulled from her and moved toward her mom, wrapping the pretty older woman in a hug and growling.
Jamie chuckled through her tears, got up, and walked toward the door. "Yeah, that's my cue to leave. I'll try to fight for him. I want him in my life more than anything else. I guess I'm just waiting for him to not want me anymore. Like Stephen did."
"Stephen’s an idiot," her father turned and barked his response. "You're better than that. Your sister is, too, and you can tell her I said that."
"Okay, Daddy. I love you guys. I'll see you soon." She walked out as her phone buzzed against her leg. She pulled it from her pocket and smiled.
Mark.
"Hey, you. How are you?" Jamie got in the car and buckled up while trying to balance the small contraption.
"Good. Just met with my attorney." He let out a long sigh. "I think I'm ready for this next step, but it's so fucking scary, you know?"
"I actually don't know, but I can imagine. My folks are going to try to work things out." She started the car and turned out onto the sleepy street she grew up on. "Is there anything worth trying to work out between you and Paula?"
"No. I wish there was, but she's a completely different woman from the one I married. We're doing far more harm to each other than good nowadays."
"Sounds like me and Alex." She let out a painful sigh.
"Yeah, but there’s a lot left to fight for with the two of you. Life's coming in between you, nothing else. You need to kick it back and reclaim your man. He's too lost in the fear that he's going to lose his company or the reputation that he's built to see a solution to anything right now. He's somewhat defined by his success; you know?"
"No, not really. Explain." She pulled onto the freeway and forced herself to relax. She was going to have a heart attack over the combination of worry and stress if she didn't start forcing it away.
"With the situation he had with dad when he was a kid, he was never good enough. You know he was the rowdy one out of the two of us, always going against the grain and doing his own thing. My father hated that shit, and wanted conformity. With words, he beat Alex into believing that he wasn't the man he should be, though he was deep down inside. His success rebuilt the loss he suffered at my father's parenting style. It gave Alex a new identity, a new face; one he could be proud of. He's done incredible things, but now that it's being threatened, he's falling apart."
"But it's not being threatened." Jamie took her exit and honked as a guy almost hit the side of her car.
"No? You don't think him having an illegitimate kid with some chick isn't going to stir up talk and leave him looking less responsible than he wants?"
"I guess it could, but why in the world would anyone have to know?"
"You're being naive, which isn't at all like the girl I've come to know. Stop trying to dismantle my explanation, and think through whether your relationship with my brother is worth fighting for."
"Of course it is. He's all I think about, Mark, but he's being an ass on multiple levels right now. If I keep bowing down and forgiving his actions, doesn't that just validate that I'm fine with him acting like that?"
"No, it means that you love him. You're not validating anything. You have to explain to him, just like you do a child, that he can't treat you like he's been treating you, but that you're willing to forgive him. Have you told him that you love him?"
"No." She pulled up the driveway and turned the car off, suddenly feeling so heavy.
"Why not?"